Is Age Really a Factor?

Your number of years on the planet might be very significant when you're five or six and you first start school. In the words of the kindergartner when asked how he liked his first day of school he said..."It was OK mom, but how much longer do I have to do this?" As a teenager there's the joy of having reached a milestone but then a sense of awkwardness crops up, and with it a preoccupation with personal appearance. Then you're twenty-one and legally grown but now responsibility is definitely an issue. At thirty the desire to succeed increases, and upon reaching forty you begin wondering if you ever will succeed. Fifty brings with it an attitude of "Oh Well, it's now or never",  and the common axiom at sixty is 'whatever' because the concern for what you or others have expected of you has significantly diminished. Now I can't speak from experience as to what happens at seventy, so I won't even try. However, in celebrating my wife Nicole's Godmother Jean Ann's eighty-first birthday last week, I learned that it really doesn't matter how long you're here. What truly matters is what you do while you're here, and how you feel about doing it.

Now I would be remiss if I didn't remind some of you and inform the rest that my momma is also eighty-one and that she got her Bachelors Degree at forty-nine. She, started teaching aerobics at fifty-one and taught at least four classes a week until she was eighty years of age. She started working with adolescents and teens at seventy-two, while still teaching aerobics, and worked with me at the Lighthouse Youth Center until May of 2011. She's been and still is my inspiration in everything I endeavor to do, because her uncompromising work ethic and unrelenting desire to help others are the characteristics with which I attempt to fashion my life. I knew that there were others beyond the age of seventy that shared my mother's zest for life and her 'never too late' consciousness; but it wasn't until experiencing Jean Ann's life, up close and personal, that I was able to witness another version of that same mindset.

  Momma modeling      

After booking our flight to visit Jean Ann, Nicole and I had offered to take a cab because of our late arrival time. However, Jean Ann insisted on picking us up and, true to her word, she pulled up to the curb 'round midnight' and whisked us away in her purple automobile. We arrived at her home where we talked for a while as she introduced and acclimated us to our new surroundings. She then excused herself in order to get back to a project that had to be completed by the next day. Having worked until three in the morning, Jean Ann went to bed and got up around six a.m. to finish her project and to prepare for an eleven a.m. meeting at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts Collection in Focus, where she has been a guide since 1999.  The project was a lecture and tour that Jean Ann coalesced with her birthday celebration and it addressed the presence of the works of over forty (40) African American Artists in the permanent collection of the Institute. The program started at one p.m. and Nicole and I had front row seats.

Jean Ann in Her Purple

The venue was filled to capacity with over sixty (60) people present. The majority were African Americans who had never stepped foot in the Institute. All the people present, were friends of Jean Ann who were there primarily to celebrate her birthday. The program was extremely enlightening and thought provoking as the highly knowledgeable art historian, who Jean Ann brought on board, shared her expertise. Jean Ann was both captivating and entertaining as she gave a formidable explanation of what art appreciation is all about, and challenged us to share our personal interpretations of what each artist was trying to convey through their painting(s). The number of people and the ease with which she facilitated the program succinctly conveyed how Jean Ann loves what she does, it aptly illustrated how she does what she does in the hope that others can share in her joy, and it deftly demonstrated how people are receptive to truth and beauty especially when it is administered by someone who lives it. 

Two years ago Jean Ann became an advocate and volunteer for the Restorative Justice Alternative Court System which seeks to exonerate first time offenders. As she shared this with me I was reminded of how my mother recently let me know that she was eager to start a new career, and that it would undoubtedly be in the field of Public Service. These two women allow no grass to grow under their feet, and both purposefully and inadvertently inspire and encourage others to do the same. For those of us under eighty-one, we have a wonderful opportunity to learn from those who have 'been there and done that'.

Let's take advantage of every opportunity we can to walk, talk, share ideas, and listen to the wisdom of our esteemed elders so that we too can give to others what has so freely been given to us. Time is not linear ya'll it's right now; and it's not about how long you live, it's about how you live. So let's apply the  paraphrased words of Jean Ann's cell phone message to our own lives,"If I don't answer your call, it's because I'm out somewhere living life to the fullest..." 

Thanks Mom for being all that you are, and thank you Jean Ann for choosing to share your life with me and for allowing me to share mine with you.




To comment or respond, click on the word comments: at the bottom of the page or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com.

Breathing is a Blessing...Gratitude an Attitude

Sometimes we take things for granted and are unaware of how thankful we should be for what we have received. I had no idea how much my deceased wife Elaine loved me until after she had made her transition. What she has done has committed me to loving my present wife Nicole as much and even more than I am loved. Thank you Elaine for what you've given me. I once reminded my nephew that I was providing him with food, clothing and shelter and that his grades did not reflect his appreciation. He told me that I had to take care of him. I know that his attitude has changed by now and I am grateful that he inadvertently pointed out how hurtful it can be when our efforts are taken for granted.

Nicole and I went backpacking with her cousin Kappe last week when I realized that my ability to breathe was hampered by a cold I'd contracted the day before. Mind you the trek, with packs on our backs, was a 3 mile hike up a mountain. It's one thing to walk 3 miles down the road, but because of inexperience I had no idea how strenuous it is to walk 3 miles up a mountainside. I had already claimed that I was not going to be made to look like the 'weaker sex', and so it was an unrelenting ego that would not allow me to be outdone by two women. This egotistic mindset, alongside the unmitigated Grace of God was the only way I was able to get to the top of that mountain. It was only when we came down the other side however, had settled at the campsite and had an opportunity to appreciate the beauty of creation that I actually realized that every breath I had taken was a gift from God and believe you me, I took quite a few coming up that mountain. Thinking about how we take something as important as breathing, a beating heart, or functioning organs for granted I began to truly appreciate how life itself is a gift, and that every thing and every body that contributes to our well being is a blessing.

After having rested the entire second day, and having savored the indescribable magnificence of what had been created for all the world to experience and enjoy, I felt ready to make the return trip up and down what I considered a magnanimous mountain. Although my cold had abated somewhat, it had not yet passed and I had several opportunities to experience how much a blessing it was just to be able to breathe. There was something else however that unequivocably illustrated how God can adjust our attitude through others. Nicole and I were climbing the mountain, still short of having reached the top, when Kappe appeared without her backpack and asked if I wanted her to carry my pack the rest of the way. It wasn't my ego this time that caused me to say no, but an undeniable understanding and a platitude of gratitude for Kappe and all the people that God allows to be a part of my life. It is because of other people, and the things they do, regardless of how significant or insignificant these things may seem, that make the days of our lives remarkably worthwhile.

Recognizing how blessed we are can be a humbling experience, but maintaining an attitude of gratitude for the blessings we receive, no matter in what form they may appear, makes every experience an opportunity to better ourselves and to give to others what has been given so freely to us. Thank you God for the breath of life and thanks to all of you for helping me to appreciate this gift and all that goes along with it.



To comment or respond click on the word comments at the bottom of the page or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com.