What YOU Gon Do?

What YOU Gon Do?

My cousin, who is currently in his fifties, posted an article on Facebook the other day that described his confrontation with police at a young age. In his words…”I grew up in the 60's and 70's in W. Philly. One afternoon, I was either 12 or 13, I personally came "this close" to being shot by the police in front of my own house.” He went on to explain how he had first hand knowledge, and thereby understood how and why black youth are still being accosted by law officers simply by the virtue of their being black. After talking with him, I learned that his commentary was in response to a caucasian friend, who although aware of the recent police shooting of an unarmed man in Ferguson, Missouri, still shared a video on Facebook, that tried to justifiably explain how black youth provoke policemen into shooting them. My cousin’s intent was to negate this assertion by sharing a personal experience that gave credibility to what black male youth are still experiencing, on a day to day basis, and to make his friend aware that black people have and are still experiencing a unique form of racism that people of other cultures do not understand.

Because he is an articulate and competent black physician, my cousin’s colleagues responded to his article with complete surprise. Most of them would have never believed or even considered that he was raised in what we refer to as the ghetto, and they expressed adoration for his willingness to openly share his story, and even more importantly, they were inadvertently co opted into questioning the validity of their own presuppositions and the accurateness of media based information. The consequences of my cousin’s action were very thought provoking to say the least.

These observations, on my part, led to the motive behind this particular discourse, namely…”What YOU gon do?”  It doesn’t take much, just a realization that complacency is rampant among us, and it’s imperative that a commitment be made by each of us to do what we can to eradicate the senselessness that pervades this world of ours. Racism is not the only issue that needs to be addressed, but be ever aware that racism, ethnicity, and religion are still the major means being employed to both commit and to justify the atrocities that are permeating each and every segment of our planet. 

 

• In Missouri the National Guard has been commissioned to assist the police in assaulting demonstrators who are protesting the killing of unarmed black people. 

• In the Sudan, millions of innocent Darfurians are still being affected by the ongoing genocide initiated by the Sudanese government years ago. 

• In Burma, the military regime is still committing mass atrocities against ethnic minorities. and... 

• In Iraq, different ethno-religious sects have been clashing, resulting in the deaths of up to 100,000 civilians since the 2003 US invasion.

None of this kind of stuff is new ya’ll, but we can do something new to offset it. Let’s start off by talking about these types of things, in public, with a beneficial purpose in mind. Let’s share our own personal, and perhaps frightening experiences, and how we managed to reach a state of mind that allowed us to elicit both empathy and sympathy, to those who are still undergoing a similar state of turmoil. Let’s discuss how important it is for each of us to learn and study the circumstances of an incident, before casting judgement and condemnation on a person/situation…and doing so only as a result of something we heard. More importantly, let’s not allow lies to be perpetrated in our presence without responding in kind with the truth. It’s only my opinion, yet I believe that we can all look forward to the creativity and collaboration that’s about to ensue.

Thanks Cuz for ‘settin it off’, and thanks to all of you for at least giving thought to ‘what YOU gon do’!!!

I’ll holla…

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HOW TO GET ATTENTION

There are two beings in my life that I've learned more from than I ever expected. These two are my dog Coco Bella and granddaughter Leia Nicole. The reason is because the love they have for me is unconditional, and they're completely honest and unflinching in their attempts to communicate.  One of the most valuable lessons that I've learned from the both of them is the length sentient beings are willing to go to get attention.

Coco is 5 years of age and will whine, moof (a weird sound that I've only heard her make), pick up a toy and run crazily back and forth, pick up her dish and drop it at your feet, and playfully jump on whoever comes near her. Leia, on the other hand, is 10 months old and cries, hollers like no other, claps her hands, dances while sitting down, hits the table or whatever is in reaching distance that she can elicit a sound from, and if provoked will hit you or even herself. Now mind you, both are two of the most wonderful creatures you'd want to be around, but be ever aware that they'll do whatever necessary to both make you aware and periodically remind you of their presence.

What I've learned from them is that the desire for attention starts early on. What has been confirmed for me, through their uninhibited methods of garnering attention, is that most of us still seek it and have developed seemingly inadvertent ways for doing so. We call ourselves humble, low-key, and say things like, "I'm satisfied with just being me". But let someone not speak to us, or not congratulate us on what we deem an achievement, or not say "thank you" or "I'm sorry", and we're in a total uproar. Mind you, most of us are not going to hit, run, holler at, or jump on that someone, but believe you me, probably the next person we talk to is going to hear about the nerve of that '#*&@%!?' for not acknowledging us.

Is there something wrong with desiring attention? Of course not. We are sentient beings who have feelings and want others to acknowledge, appreciate, and share in our sensitivities. However, the way we go about it may benefit from a little tweaking. Now we don't have to be brutally honest like Leia and Coco, although being honest with others can prove beneficial in some situations, but we should not expect others to devote themselves entirely to what it is we seek, because let's face it...they're focused on seeking that same thing from us...attention.

Well.. "What now"? you might ask. My contention is that we diminish our efforts to seek attention, and expend more energy on giving it. You see,  what I've also learned from Coco and Leia is that they are truly appreciative of a physical or verbal caress, and display instant gratification when their desire for attention is met. However, I must be careful to administer it in moderation because we don't want to be responsible for either of them becoming addicted to it. The same applies to those we seek attention from. Give them some attention. Because they're a little older than my two compatriots we automatically assume that they see things the way we do, but that is not always the case. Sometimes, like us, they just want some sympathy, empathy, or just a little bit of rhythm from another so that their own self worth and well-being can be substantiated. It's not going to be easy cause it's pretty difficult to tolerate a 'big ole baby', but I've been one a few times and I truly appreciated anybody who demonstrated grace and mercy to me during one of those attention craving spells. Believe you me, I was more than gratified, I was totally satisfied and I know that the positive energy I had received was passed right back to the one who gave it to me.

Let's give it a shot. Let's try giving rather than receiving and then determine, after a few attempts at doing so, if the warmth and sense of transformation we derive from being attentive to the needs and desires of another, isn't just as good or better than the attention we so consciously or inadvertently seek.

I'll holla.


To comment or respond please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com

WHY YOU LIE ?

If you're withholding information that's pertinent to the situation, are you lying? My mother believes that you are. She used to tell my sisters and I that if we only told half the story we were lying, and that we would be in trouble if she heard the other half of the story from somebody else...Her question to us ..."Why You Lie?"

When I was about twelve or thirteen, and considering a means of income, my father told me that when he was my age he had two paper routes. A week or so later I started delivering the Chicago American newspaper, and about five or six years after that we visited my father's boyhood home of Stamps, Arkansas, and they still didn't have a newspaper... The question I wanted to ask my father back then..."Why You Lie?"

In the first example it's pretty obvious that deceit is involved when you tell only half the story, and in most cases, telling the other half would be self-incriminating. When my mother asked me where I was, I could readily say that I was down the street, but I could't say I was at Tuley Park because I wasn't supposed to cross King Drive Avenue. It was the fear factor ya'll. I was afraid that if I told the whole truth, omitting nothing, then I would be inviting more drama into my life and I certainly didn't want to have any more problems than the onesI had already created.

The second example also demonstrated fear, but this time on my father's part. He, like any loving father, was afraid that his son might choose a way of life that did not foster discipline and accountability. So he said and did what he thought was necessary to insure that I was involved in activities that provided the best means for my becoming a disciplined, self-supporting adult. What he said would probably be considered what is called a 'little white lie', that was told for my own good, but nonetheless, it was not the truth.

There you have it. Examples of two different situations, each stemming from an entirely different motives...the first to hide an act of disobedience, the second to inspire responsibility. However,  they are both based on the same consciousness...that consciousness being one of fear. Now I'm not going to discuss the duality of lying through omission or telling a little white lie for someone else's benefit, nor am I going to judge either of them as being right or wrong. But I will suffice it to say that the reason we lie is out of F.E.A.R., an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. My momma believed my false evidence and I believed my daddy's and as a result we will never know how our lives might have been different had the truth been told.

The reasons we give in response to the question... Why you lie?... can be rationalized, intellectualized, fantasized or our response can be just another lie in and of itself. The fact of the matter is that we give false evidence because we are afraid of the consequences that might ensue if we tell the truth. Let's  start living in the today and thereby eliminating the fear of being found out tomorrow. We don't know how our lying will affect us or the other person(s) we have involved in our falsehood, but what we do know is that telling the truth will definitely shed some light on our situation, and possibly make us accountable for being who we truly are. The end result can then be looked at and discussed in terms of whether or not telling the truth will ultimately benefit all involved in that particular situation.

We're spiritual beings having a human experience, and because of it's very nature, our humanness negates perfection. Nonetheless  we can all strive to be in a place where our answer to the question...Why you lie?...becomes "I didn't". Let's give it a try ya'll, let's try to always tell the truth and watch what happens.


I'll holla...

To comment or respond please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com