Stay Outta My Grill

In the movie 'Friday', Chris Tucker's character 'Smokey' talks to a 'blind date' on the phone who claims she looks like Janet Jackson. After having met her in person, he concludes that she looks more like the male singer Freddie Jackson, and tells her that right now he has an errand to run. She requests that he call her later on, and "Smokey' responds as follows: "...If you come by, I won't call you. Don't ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever come by here, ok?

At a meeting last week I asked other staff members if I might visit their respective venues later on to take photos, and it was suggested that I not visit but allow them to email the pictures to me. Now I don't think that my appearance appalled anyone, but what I suspect is that at least since the movie Friday’s production in 1995, we as a society have unawaringly allowed technology to compromise our humanity.

With the advent of the telephone we were able to call those who weren’t in close proximity, but we did periodically visit those who were. Like ‘Smokey’, we sometimes preferred to converse from a distance, but  there was a verbal interaction that allowed us to at least hear the voice of who it was we were talking to.

What we have now, with the subjugation of texts, email, Facebook and Twitter, is a cold, unfeeling connection with others whose countenance and sensibilities we are totally unaware of because we can’t see or even hear who it is we’re communicating with.

My young nephew, when asked why he preferred to text rather than call, very honestly proclaimed that when he texted he didn’t have to answer questions. No desire for accountability ya’ll, that’s what’s happening to us. The fact of the matter is that we are here to love and support one another. Even if we don’t especially like each other, our ultimate survival is predicated on our ability to amicably coexist. Our tendency toward machine like behavior is leading us toward a cold-hearted and non-compassionate consciousness that causes us to maintain that unless I need or want something from you, “Stay outta my grill (face)”.

What we gon do? I’m going to continue, cordially of course, getting in people’s grill (which is a synonym for face), and taking their pictures even if I don’t have a camera. You see I want to know that people, especially those that directly affect my life, are well. My intent is to fortify whatever ties I have with others because whether we want it or not, at some point we’re going to need another and since we don’t know who or when that might be, it is in our best interest to treat everyone like we want to be treated. 

Now there is certainly no need to cease using the technology we have available to us, and there will be times when it’s in another’s best interest that they don’t see or hear from us at certain times. I implore all of us to take the opportunity, whenever we can and no matter how brief, to use our eyes, ears, and actual voices to interact with another so that the warm, human energy that ensues will bless the entire universe in ways we never imagined. 

Kindness and concern works ya’ll, and it benefits us all to work from those perspectives.

I’ll holla… 

To comment or respond please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com

Bring It

Since the beginning of time, man’s inhumanity to man has been off the chain. In the bible you’re got the world’s first son and you kill your own brother cause he’s got more game than you do. Then you got Jacob, who with the help of his momma, steals his twin brother’s inheritance. Then there’s Joseph’s brothers, who throw him in a pit and leave him for dead. Now all of this is in the first book.

We fast forward to the second world war and you got Jewish folk being thrown into gas chambers in Germany, while people of Japanese ancestry are being uprooted and placed in internment camps in the United States.

Since the beginning of time, men and women have brought the plight of their condition to the light, via word and music, and I’m sure that biblical, Jewish, and Japanese, and other communicators will continue to express their displeasure and anger at what they’re going through. Now I’m not going to dwell on the deaths, suffering and inequity still being experienced by black folk, but allow me, if you will, to bring what we feel from an African American neighborhood.

Sojourner Truth once remarked “I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother’s grief, none but Jesus heard me”. Ralph Ellison and countless others have eloquently and adamantly expressed our discontent with the way black folk are treated, yet still today many of us feel as he did when he communicated in the prologue of the ‘Invisible Man’, “I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me”. 

Countee Cullen may not have fully understood his Divine Commission when he said “I doubt not God is good, well meaning, kind…Yet do I marvel at this curious thing:To make a poet black, and bid him sing”, yet he continued, through his poetry, to sing. You see there is something inherent in all of us, and visible in a lot of us that reflect our Maya Angelouian response to adversity, “Still I’ll rise”.

The key to resolving this rampant inhumanity that yet exists, is for all of us to bring it. We all got to bring our voices but also our ears. Most importantly…we got to bring intent and constant commitment to being of one accord. Of course we have our differences, but if we’re able to share them equitably, and people are willing to hear what we have to say, our oneness will become manifest, and we’ll be amazed at the blessings that ensue. We can do this y’all. We can put a lid on this mess, by simply listening and doing for another, that which we desire for ourselves. 

I’ll holla…


To comment or respond please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com

We're All Experts Ya'll

Upon entering Lake Forest College as an English major, one of my first assignments was to write an essay on the Herman Melville novel entitled ‘Moby Dick’. I titled the discourse ‘Moby Dick And Its Relevance To The Black Community,' and likened the large white mammal to the great old U S of A, while rendering Captain Ahab as the maligned yet formidable Black American population. The professor,  graded the paper with a big red ‘F'. He commented that my analogy was totally out of context, and remarked that it had nothing to do with Mr. Melville’s literary intent. My disagreement notwithstanding, I had to concede that the professor, regardless of his aesthetic leanings, was correct in his assessment simply because he was recognized and accepted as an expert in the literary arena. 

A number of highly unproductive years later, I signed up for and passed a skilled trades apprenticeship test. After having registered for training, my initial class was ‘Tools and Equipment’. At the onset I developed a sense of racial inadequacy, because most of my Caucasian counterparts were well aware of the utilization of the material being discussed. I knew a little somethin somethin about hammers, screwdrivers and the like, but on the other hand, the tools and equipment being  presented yielded nothing to me but a total blur.

Getting back to the Moby Dick experience, it did coerce me into changing my major to Sociology and Anthropology, for which I am eternally grateful. It was a fellow apprentice that put my intellectual discomfort in perspective however, when he inadvertently shared that beginning at the age of seven, he had worked for several years with his father building garages. What an epiphany! Of course he was more familiar with impact wrenches, tig welders, and the like because an extended exposure to anything can create at least an unconscious assimilation of knowledge. And if you like, or feel obligated to learn more about what it is that you’re exposed to, then the sky’s the limit.

What about you? Ever been in a situation where the other person seems to be such an authority on a particular subject, that you envision yourself as an idiot. Well don’t be dismayed. The only difference between you and them is exposure, experience and possible dedication to whatever it is that they’re discussing. By the same token, you know about some stuff that they’ve never even thought about. From designer clothes to luxury cars, from professional sports to video games, hopscotch to double dutch, rocket science to quantum physics, we all got some information to give to another that they might not already have.

My suggestion is that we all garner as much expertise as we can, on whatever it is that we have a passion or preference for. Let’s then be humble enough to graciously share this knowledge in a non-condescending manner, and be open-minded enough to listen to and at least consider the input of another. After all, there are no big I’s and little you’s, there’s only the one ‘WE’ looking to survive and to thrive.

There’s a vast universe out there ya’ll, and it contains an infinitely unfathomable amount of knowledge, and no one of us will ever acquire it all. However, if each of us becomes willing to share what expertise we do have, and to accept that which another is willing to give, we can all leave our every interaction with more than what we came. After all, no matter how we choose to look at it,  it’s ultimately all about us.

I’ll holla…

To comment or respond please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com

Trying To Be Where We Are

I don't do New Year resolutions any more because I only employ them for a couple of days. The intentions are all very good of course, but the follow up is extremely lacking.  Why is that? Well my contention is that it's like going on a diet. You feel, subconsciously mind you, as if you're going to have to go without, that something is going to be taken away.

One resolution I recall was the promise to exercise more. In retrospect, the thing that I inadvertently felt was being taken away was my precious time. I felt justified in believing that there were a lot more enjoyable things to do with my time other than grunting, sweating, and straining to attain a muscular body. Besides that it was winter time. Why not pick it up in the spring and be ready for the summer when there'll be a better opportunity for others to look at me and have some degree of awe and appreciation for all the work I've put in. As you already know, that particular resolution, after about January 10th of that year,  didn't receive further consideration until the following New Year.

What's the solution. For me it's all about perspective and attitude. Referring back to the diet analogy, the key is not to think of what we do as a temporary occurrence, but to see it as a life altering opportunity. A diet should not be a weight loss endeavor but a food transition. As for my muscle building strategy, it should have been viewed as the beginning of a continuum of health and vitality, rather than an attempt to get the coveted attention of others. Whatever the case, resolutions are important components in our attempts to do or be better, and the key is to look at them from a standpoint of saying "I'm doing this until" and not setting a specific, possibly unattainable goal.

Yesterday I asked myself and a couple of family members the question "Why are you here?" My personal response was, "To be of service to others." My wife Nicole replied, "To attain self-realization through playing music and having relationship with others." My mother Madeline responded with, "Because I have something to do." My big sister Pat answered with, "To be all that I can be." The question was a spur of the moment inquiry and allowed no time for contemplative assessment. Because of that, the responses were spontaneous, and if you'll notice none of them contained or even implied a time restraint. Each and every response was comprised of starting now and going on until.

I'm sure you all would have answered that question "Why are you here?", in pretty much the same manner that my family members and myself did, and I'm positive that we are all optimally efficient when we are not constrained by time and/or worried about doing stuff right. We are all here because we want to help. We all want to know who we are, so that we can be all that we can be, in order to figure out what it is we have to do. It's a process ya'll, it's all about trial and error, and right now, we're exactly where we're supposed to be. Discomfort is the motivator here, and a birthday and the first day of the year are the ultimate catalysts for reminding us it's time to make a change, a time to do things a little differently.

The New Year is upon us, and of course our desire is to be better than before. We make resolutions with sincere intent because that's where we are on January 1st of any year. Days or weeks later we're beating up on ourselves because we haven't kept the promise we seemingly made just moments ago. What's wrong with us...nothing. We're simply being all that we can be at the time we're being it. What we can do is accept that and either don't make promises we can't keep, or don't be alarmed or upset if we can't keep the promises we made. No one of us is here to change the world,  but each of us is here to facilitate a change in ourselves if need be, so that the entire universe can benefit in our collaborative  process.

The focus should be on the effort ya'll, not the outcome. It's all about continuing to do what we do, as best we can with what we've got, and doing something different if we feel that it ain't enough. When, where, and how we do it is up to us. What's most important is that we try, we keep trying, and then... we try again.

I'll Holla...

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WE GOT THE HOOK UP

Isn't it amazing that we are all we can be, we have everything we need, yet in so many instances we feel that we've fallen short and/or been shortchanged. How many times, in the course of a day, do we look at ourselves and say things like: "I don't like the way I look". "Why won't he/she look at me more lovingly"?  "Did I do something wrong'?  "Why are they treating me like this"?  "I need a new pair of shoes".  "When am I gonna heave enough to do what I need to do"? Any of this sound familiar? Of course it does cause all of us, eight to eighty, blind, crippled, or crazy are  going through it each and every day. Why? Because we keep forgetting we got the hook up.

What's the hook up? It's the means available that enable you to attain whatever you need or desire. You had the desire to read or listen to this blog, so if you're doing so then you had to have the means available to you..i.e. you got the hook-up. How does that theory apply in other areas? Let's revisit our initial suppositions.

If I don't like the way I'm looking, and I don't think the object of my attention is giving me any rhythm.  If I don't have the money to get my 'do' done, and if I can't make somebody like or even look at me if they don't want to, then where's the hook? You've got to go in to find it my friend. If we're made in the image and likeness of the Creator, then the beauty is there. We just have to keep in mind that we're the ones concentrating on the zit, or the wrinkle, or the seemingly unkempt hair do. Everybody else is checking out our total countenance, and if we're not feeling good about ourselves then that's the image others are seeing. Not getting any rhythm? Maybe the person you're trying to get it from ain't got none to give right now. You don't know what they're going through at the moment, and they might just be afraid to give of themselves for fear of of not getting anything back.

Did you do something wrong? Naw. You could have done things a little bit differently, but if there was no malicious intent, then it wasn't wrong. If there was, you need to check yourself and do the best you can not to repeat that particular behavior. Why are others treating you in that manner? Because that's where they are right now. They're not able to accept where you are right now, and a lot of times envy is their reason for not being able to do so. Their seemingly negative treatment is actually an opportunity for us to meet them where they are, check to see if their treatment of us is similar to the way we've treated another, and then being about correcting our own future behavior.

Need a new pair of shoes and still waiting for your ship to come in? How well have you taken care of the one pair you already have? When was the last time you dusted them off, let alone put a little cream or polish on them. And what are you doing to bring that ship into port. What about that change in your purse or pocket, that 20 or 30 cents you can put in a jar every night. Might take a minute but if you do it long enough, you can get them shoes. I know thrift stores might not be your thing, but they are a means for acquiring your desire.

I know when I was shooting dope I'd wake up early in the morning and tell myself, "I don't know how I'm gonna do it right now, but one thing I do know... I'm gon get high today", and most of the time... I did. That's the hook up ya'll, knowing who you are and what you got. From dope fiend to guidance counselor, from homeless to heaven bound, we all got what it takes to get it done. Maybe you're not pleased with who you are right now, but be excited about you know you're capable of becoming and work on that. You might not have all you want right now, but be happy that you got all you need to get it. Maybe it won't come when you want it, but you have to keep in mind that things only come to us when we're ready to receive them. Just keep getting up, knowing that some how some way "I'm gonna make it through this day cause I got the hook-up".

I'll holla...

To comment or respond please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com