TO TRAIN OR TEACH...THAT IS THE QUESTION

After taking an apprenticeship test, I discovered that a major component for passing was the ability to follow directions. Years later while pursuing a degree in Community Development I was made aware that many of our aptitude tests also have this direction following component. Upon further investigation it came to my attention that civil service exams incorporate this component as well. Now there's no doubt that a professional, a student, and/or an employee's ability to follow directions is and should be a major concern. But, on the other hand, the knowledge of how well one can follow directions can lead  to the gauging of one's willingness to adhere, and allow another an opportunity to establish an undetermined amount of control over that person's life.

Since 2008 there have been discussions concerning the belief that one of the factors used in determining the number of prisons being built, is based on the number of students who can't read at a third grade level. The consensus of the penitentiary planners is that these particular students often fail to improve over time, and are most likely to drop out, do drugs, and wind up incarcerated. Call it conspiracy theory if you will, but it doesn't seem to be a coincidence that these same third grade testing results, that reflect an inability to follow directions, can play a major role in determining, at an early age, who's trainable and who's not. No worries though, because there's a place for either or.

Whether purposed or not, I see our educational systems as training rather than teaching facilities. I see our subsequent involvement in corporate and business institutions as a proliferation of the same type of training that it takes to maintain the existent hierarchical system. Now I'm not blaming administrators, teachers, professors, managers, or corporate execs because they're only doing what we are all being trained to do, and that is to adhere to the directions of the higher ups. This method of interaction, without some contribution from us, is not going to stop. Let's face it. unless one is offered an alternative way of thinking,  one is trained at an early age that there are those above us and those below us. We are taught to seek upward mobility and told that the means for doing so is to follow the direction of those in charge. Now this type of 'education' extends way beyond academia. In a word, from the class room to the board room and beyond, you either pass or you fail. It doesn't matter whether the criteria for passing is biased, unethical, or of little value to you or anybody else; you either play the game the way you're being 'taught' to play it or you get off the field.

What I suggest is that we tell our children and continually remind ourselves that the way in which we interact with one another is not always as it should be. However, our well being is contingent on recognizing the methods employed in our interactions, and figuring out how to circumvent the liabilities that these methods incur. These liabilities can range from harboring feelings of either inferiority or superiority, to creating a platform for unnecessary and aggressive competitiveness. We can play the game, but we can not afford to get caught up in it. We must not look at ourselves as being better than another, but view ourselves and everyone else as doing the best we can with what we have to work with. Until more of our schools teach us how to be critical thinkers, and how to use our individual gifts for the benefit of self and others, we must make a concerted effort to bring some much needed good to the hood.

To train is to condition/prepare; to teach is to enlighten. The world may continue to train us on how to follow rules and to do as we're told. But, at the same time, let us continue to remind each other that we each have a light and it's our obligation to let it shine so that the entire world may one day do the things that Love, not man, leads us to do.

I'll Holla.


Click here for spoken word 

To comment or respond click on the word comments at the bottom of the page or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com.

Between Storms

No matter who you are or what you do, there’s always gonna be something uncomfortable poppin up. The wonderful thing about these turmoils is that nothing lasts forever. A solution’s gonna come ya’ll, the problem is gonna be resolved at some point, and we’re gonna be blessed as a result.  All that’s good when we get to that point. However, the quandary that must be addressed is:  “What do we do in the meantime?”  If I’m in pain right now, be it mental, physical, emotional or whatever; the last thing I want to hear is “Don’t worry, it’s gon be alright.”  What I want to hear is how do I get this thing off me. Now I ain’t talking about finding comfort tomorrow, I’m talking about finding it yesterday. Well, into each life some rain must fall, so let’s see how we can go about opening an umbrella when it comes.

You’ve heard the story of the scorpion and the frog I’m sure, but allow me, if you will, an opportunity to reiterate it. There was this huge storm, you dig, and the flooding had moved the woodland creatures to the other side of the river. During the aftermath, a scorpion approaches a frog and requests that the frog allow him to hitch a ride on its back as it swims to the other side. To this request the frog responds, “If I give you a ride on my back you could sting me and I’d die.”  To which the scorpion replies, “That would be stupid on my part, because if I did that we’d both drown and I want to live. “  Reluctantly the frog gives in but, to its surprise, as soon as they touch down on the other side the scorpion stings him. The frog gasps and says, “I did what you requested, how could you sting me after what I’ve done for you?” To which the scorpion responds, “I’m a scorpion. That’s what we do.”  

The bottom line is that what happens to us is really not the heart of the matter, no matter how serious it may seem.  What is most important is how we respond to the situation that we were confronted with. You see people are going to be who they are,  and until they have a spiritual awakening of some sort, they’re going to continue to do what they do. That’s why we’re equipped with the umbrellas of patience, tolerance, and understanding so that we can open them when people who are in a storm coerce us into getting into it with them. You see, it’s only with these umbrellas that we can discern how we’re gonna get out of those storms..

Now I’m not saying that all people that have played a role in our dilemmas purposefully did so to cause us harm, nor am I saying that we’re stupid for allowing ourselves to get stung. What I am saying is that whatever comes to pass in our lives, there’s going to be some consequences, so we must prepare ourselves for the fallout. The longer we live, the more we experience the storms of life. The idea is to learn how to weather these storms. When somebody asks you to do something you don’t want to do, don’t do it. I know you love them but give them a chance to learn how to weather their own storm, and remember that you don’t have to stay in it with them to do so. If somebody accuses you of doing something that you didn’t do, or of being something or somebody you know you ain’t, don’t go back and forth with them. I know you want them to think well of you, but where they are right now, is trying to push your button cause they ain’t feeling good about themselves and their own situation. So just shut your mouth, put up your umbrella up and let them do what they do till they get tired. Don’t get mad cause they’re all up in your video. After all Froggie, you’re the one who let them in. On the other hand, if you’re playing the scorpion role right now, understand that although the story didn’t speak about what happened, we already know that other storms were on the way and that, at some point, the scorpion was definitely going to have to pay for the harm it caused and, at some point, so will you.

It’s life ya’ll and the sun shines every day despite the clouds, and the storms that follow. It’s a joy when you can see the sun, but what we need to work on is what to do when we don’t see it. We’re gonna be who we are, and we’re gonna do what we do, but let’s remember that every discomfort we experience is an opportunity to look at ourselves and possibly alter the way we look at and deal with what’s going on around us. It’s what we do during the storms that determine how much sunshine we experience between them.

I’ll holla.


To comment or respond click on the word comments at the bottom of the page or email me at grace.calvin187 @gmail.com

How About Some Heat…It's Getting Cold In This Piece

Facebook is an amazing communications vehicle and without it we would be hard pressed to contact our friends and relatives that we “ain’t heard from in years.” It

goes without saying that I-Pod, I-Pad, smart phones and other devices offer apps and opportunities that allow us interact with others in a multi faceted number of ways. However, my concern is that these socially oriented activities might be taking up too much of our time, and actually depriving us of well-intended, altruistic-minded  interaction.

I was in the airport the other day and took advantage of an opportunity to check out the surroundings, just to see what’s going on with the other people that we’re sharing this planet with.  Well, let me tell you. Out of the fifty or so people I visually surveyed, one adult was verbally reprimanding a child, and two others were conversing with one another. In the meantime, every other person was either LAPTOP ing, I-PAD ing, I-POD ing, or I-PHONE ing in a solitary, and seemingly “don’t mess with me” manner. Whether they were game playing, e-mailing, texting, or on the web; just about everybody present was virtually connected to some kind of electronic doohickey, and that to me was not cool.

My concern is if we will ever stop allowing technology to usurp our time, and then dictate to us what we’re going to do with it. We listen to our I-pods while ignoring the presence of others, and we text upcoming social events and our so-called personal business while at the dinner table. We Facebook happy birthdays, and we use Linked In to announce our career advancements. When, if ever, are we going to communicate in a more personal manner, and is it possible that we might even start actually talking to each other again?

When my procrastination was at its apex, my grandmother gave me a plaque that sarcastically read…”Tomorrow I’m going to get my shit together.”  Well, no one of us is promised tomorrow ya’ll, so let’s start right now and holla at each other a little more warmly. Write a letter sometime like my good friend Jean Ann who does about thirty a year. Call somebody every now and then instead of texting, and find out if you still recognize each other’s voice. Make personal contact with your family and close friends to let them know what significant changes have occurred in your life, before they hear it from somebody else who saw it on Facebook. As my mother inferred in one of her poems:

These actions give opportunity to plant a seed

A seed that will show someone we care

Then they too can plant a seed somewhere.

I know we can bless one another and be blessed ourselves if every now and again we show love through our actions, rather than sending or posting our feelings on a heartless gadget. The time to bust a move is now ya’ll, how bout it?

To comment or respond click on the word comments at the bottom of the page or email me at grace.calvin187 @gmail.com

Be You When You Do What You Do

Been doing some reflecting lately and I've realized that life is so much simpler when I am who I am, rather than who I think you want me to be. Rather than acting in a manner that will bring about what I think are the best results (getting my way), I should be honest and let the chips fall where they may. I really wish I could say that I'm not influenced by what people think of me, but that would be a lie. I do care what people think about me, and most of the time what I say to others is preceded by how I think they will respond. The problem comes when they don't respond in the way I anticipated, or they respond in a way that I don't appreciate. What I've come to realize is that when interacting with others, I must constantly remind myself that I am not a director. I cannot direct a play that others didn't choose to be in, then get mad when they don't read the script the way I wrote it. Life is real and the time we have is not meant to be spent trying to control others, by acting like we think they want us to act, just so we can get our way.

Our intent should be to generate love whenever we can and in whatever way we can.  I heard a guy say the other day that when we have no fear, we are obligated to teach others how to be fearless. Love does not house fear so if we are to generate it, we must be fearless in our endeavors to do so. We can cease being afraid of the outcome if we make certain that our intent is pure. Case in point (hypothetical of course): "I spend my last money on something I didn't have to, and now I'm twenty dollars short on my rent. My brother has always bailed me out but I know he's going to ask me what happened and I'm fearful of hearing the truth about myself. which is inevitably what he's going give me. So I come up with this incredible sob story that even the Grinch who stole Christmas would fall for. But guess what? He doesn't go for it and I have to sit through a ten minute lecture about my shortcomings. I walk away with the twenty dollars, but my ego, my self esteem, and the love I thought I had for my brother have all been compromised." The question is: How do we find ourselves in these positions?  The Answer: Because fear is the basis of our approach and generating love is not our intent.

So how could the story have played out differently? Here we go: "My intent is not going to be to get my way, but to be straightforward about who I am and where I stand right now. I'm going to allow my brother to be who he is, without being fearful of what he might have to say. After all I know I spent the money needlessly, so why not be honest and admit it. I'm going to listen intently, and take heed of my brother's response in the hopes of learning something, while, at the same time, I'm going to allow him  another opportunity to run his mouth which he evidently enjoys doing.  Then, no matter what happens, the love will have been generated and because love is reciprocal, my spiritual well being will be strengthened, embodying me with the knowledge that some way, some how, the rent will get paid. Cause, after all, love always makes a way."

Let's be honest and be who we really are ya'll. Let's not be skerred to give love a chance and see  where fearlessness will take us. After all we have nothing to lose but fear itself.


I'll holla…


To hear the audio version click here.

To comment or respond click on the word comments at the bottom of the page or email me at grace.calvin187 @gmail.com

We Need To Be Free … Angela Davis Already Is

This blog posting is an entry for the Black Bloggers Connect "Free Angela" Blogging Contest.

Everybody on the planet should go see the "Free Angela" movie, which is set to be released nationwide on the 5^th of April 2013, because according to the film synopsis, “It’s an edge-of-your seat thriller told for the first time by Angela and others who lived through the events firsthand.”  Angela Davis can be viewed as an icon, an anomaly, or as a revolutionary. She can also be seen as a staunch advocate of prison reform, a stalwart defender of women’s rights, and a nonpartisan proponent of equity and freedom for people of color all over the world. However, from a simpler yet all encompassing perspective, Angela Davis is a universal being who is having a human experience on this earthly plane of existence. What she does is look at every encounter as an opportunity to express her purpose for being here. She is exercising her freedom of choice, and using this freedom, along with the spiritual gifts that each of us possesses, to express her inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and to collectively assist all of us who choose to experience that same right. We, for the most part, are imprisoned by a lack of knowledge. Most of us don’t know who we really are and how capable we are of making a significant and beneficial difference in our own lives and in the lives of others. Angela Davis is free because she knows who she is and what her purpose is. That’s why she’s done more with her life than we even realize.

What we have with this movie is a rare opportunity to see and hear Angela’s story directly from Angela’s mouth. After all, she’s the one who lived that story (herstory), and she’s still living it right now. In order to truly understand another person’s existence and purpose, we need more than an historical account because, at best, that account is only a subjective interpretation. The person whose life is being interpreted doesn’t usually have the opportunity to confirm or dispel the validity of said interpretation. Only Angela can actually share her own life energy with us, and accurately communicate to us (even the three, four, and five year olds), what it takes to do what she does

The "Free Angela" movie transcends race, gender, ethnicity, politics, religion, and societal affiliation. It’s not just a movie; it’s also an opportunity to vicariously experience what it means to be free. Even more than that, it’s a catalyst for all of us to be more creative in our endeavors and more dedicated to the universal objective of giving of ourselves for the benefit of others. Angela Davis is free because she is perpetually seeking freedom for everybody else. Let’s allow her to show us how we too can be free, so that we can collaboratively help her do what needs to be done. If we are to use and give of our gifts, as Angela has done, for the growth and preservation of personal freedom and universal peace, then we need to know how. To have knowledge of our own truth we must first be free. Angela Davis life, as seen through this movie, will clearly exemplify how both truth and freedom are readily available to us, and can be attained by anybody who is ready and willing to receive them. 

I'll holla...

To listen to the spoken version with musical soundtrack click here.

To comment or respond click on the word comments at the bottom of the page or email me at grace.calvin187 @gmail.com

To Love Is First

For a long time I'd been thinking that you had to love God, love your neighbor and then love yourself, in that order. That manner of thinking always puzzled me because I had never actually seen God, I hardly saw my neighbors, and when I looked in the mirror, on some days, I didn't even like what I saw there. Now I realized that this whole idea of love was to be viewed from a spiritual perspective, but it just wasn't easy to love a spiritual entity when I, having a human experience, didn't even love me. For quite a while, it all seemed too abstract to me. Then it finally dawned on me. If I learn to love myself, then everything else will probably fall into place.

I've always enjoyed the high that alcohol and drugs provided, but how could I love me and ingest substances that harm my heart, liver, lungs and other vital organs that God gave me to sustain my life, and to live it to the fullest. Food is a necessary form of nourishment, but how am I loving me when I constantly bombard my digestive system with substances that have no nutritional value whatsoever. I love running my mouth, but when I talk about and criticize other people of what value is it to my mental and spiritual well-being. After all, I'm the one who feels bad after disrespecting somebody else. I say I love the Lord, I say I love others, but how is that possible when I'm destroying the mind and body that God gave me, and then demeaning the character and reputation of those God put here for me to share the world with. I realized that it's impossible to like, let alone love me, if I'm going to do the things that aren't good for me to do. Then, if I ain't loving me, loving others as I love myself is entirely out of the question.

Now here's the kicker. Look back on your life and count the number of times you've heard something similar to the expression, "I love the Lord". Now add up the number of times you've heard "I love my wife or husband" (Yea, they're our neighbors too). After that add up the number of times you've heard or said something similar to this phrase, "I love me some me." Not often huh? Seems kind of selfish and self centered huh. Well, let me say this, if you want to love God, and to love your neighbor as yourself, how about learning to love you. When you get up in the morning, practice saying I love _________(put your name in the space). Then because love is an action word, start acting like it. Base everything you do, from that point till you go to bed at night, on doing only that which will make you a better person, physically, mentally, emotionally, and of course spiritually. It's probably not going to happen the first day, but with practice you'll find yourself liking and then loving you a little bit more day by day.

Now I know that I'm going to have my naysayers pushing the "Got to Love God First" card, and I say to all of you that I've tried both ways and the latter works best for me. I talked about my love for God, but in retrospect it was just talk because I didn't know how to love. In learning to love myself, and to treat myself better, I've learned how to love and treat others and, as a result, to Love God who is the One showing me how to love. So if you're there already and truly love God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, and you truly love your neighbor as you love yourself, then as Pastor John Hannah says..."God bless your ministry." If you're taking care of everything God entrusted to your care, are experiencing joy and peace, and are exhibiting kindness and self control, on a regular basis, then 'gon wit yo bad self.' But if you've had a hard time like me, do what I do. Work on loving you more and you'll be better able to love God and all your neighbors accordingly.

Whatever your choice, the objective is to love. How you prioritize it is not important; because in the final analysis, once you learn to love, you automatically become the LOVE that we've all been commissioned to share.

I'll holla...


To listen to the spoken version of To Love Is First click here.

To comment or respond, click on the word comments at the bottom of the page or email me at: grace.calvin187@gmail.com

Changing Self Helps Others

Why do we really want to help others? If we're honest about it we'll admit that one reason is because helping others makes us feel good about ourselves. Unless of course they don't appreciate what we've done. Then we have issues with ourselves for helping them, and issues with them for not thanking us enough. Ever give a homeless person two dollars and he didn't seem as grateful as the guy you gave a quarter to the day before? Ever give your significant other a gift and even though they didn't say it, they looked at you as if to say, "That's It, that's the best you could do?" What about your children? You feed em, clothe em, put a roof over their heads and they want to know why you can't buy them a new car to go to the new college that you'll be paying for for the rest of your life. Don't even mention the friend that owes you twenty dollars. They're wearing a new pair of shoes, slicker than the ones you got on, and got the nerve to say they can't pay you right now cause the mortgage is due on the new house they just bought. Think about it though. Was our motive entirely about helping somebody, or was some of it about feeling good about our being able to do so, and then being  recognized by others as a person of value.

I was just thinking about cutting out the middle man. Later for helping somebody else so I can feel good about me, I'll start doing stuff for myself and then be totally joyous and grateful for what I've done. I'll start out by getting up in the morning, looking in the mirror and giving myself some kind of compliment. I'll disregard my hair not being right, the bags under my eyes, or that new zit or wrinkle. Instead I'll focus on those cute little ears and how they make both sides of my head look good. Then I'll take a shower while thanking God that my body still works well enough to get me back and forth to where I'm going. I'll then put on the dopest outfit in my closest, just cause I feel like it, and follow up with a nutritious meal that gives me enough energy to make it to the next meal. After that I'm going to work, to school, or wherever I want to go and do the best I can to make whatever I do the best that I've ever done. Then, before going home, I'm going to take them last two or twenty dollars and buy me something that I ain't had in a long, long time. No matter how well any or all of this works out, I'm gonna to be grateful for what I've done on this day. I'm gonna feel good about me without needing validation from anybody else.


Focusing more on self sounds okay, yet even though there's no arrogance or ill will intended, it still seems to be selfish and self-centered. Ain't that ironic? We try to help others and wind up feeling inadequate and/or unappreciated. Then we do something for self and have a hard time not feeling inconsiderate and self-serving. Face it ya'll. We really don't view life in terms of what we do, we view it from the perspective of how what we do is responded to. There's no way in the world we can make others love us or feel good about themselves, because in the final analysis it's all about us and how we feel anyway. So let's either stop doing for others or stop being concerned with how what we've done is received. Let's start looking closer at what we're doing so we can start feeling better about what we've done. We might think that there's nothing we can do to actually make the world a better place, but in feeling good about what we've done our attitude, about how we view the world, can change. Let's be less concerned with how we're seen and focus more on how we see ourselves. Let's all be who we want others to see; and the whole world will change for the better as a result of it.


To hear the audio version of 'Changing Self Helps Others' click Here.

To comment or respond click on the word comments at the bottom of this page or email me at: grace.calvin187@gmail.com.