CHICAGO VIBES

I'm here in Chicago and just totally excited about the vibes I'm experiencing. Albeit some of them are not as titillating as I'd like them to be, my hometown of Chicago is still an accurate barometer of what's going on around the world, and I'm just happy to be here and to be able to check things out.

I do not watch the news in California but while here in Chicago I viewed a news broadcast Sunday night and and learned that there was:

• a number 6.o earthquake in Napa, California 
• two police related shootings of one black man and black woman and another individual black man in two different Chicago neighborhoods and...
• a severe thunderstorm watch for the Chicago area on the next day Monday.                                  

All three news items produced negative vibes which gave me an opportunity to find the common denominator for the barometric pressure felt here in Chicago, and the rest of the known world...that common denominator being fear. This finding was confirmed for me as I drove down the Dan Ryan expressway about 1 pm the next day, and saw about 30 vehicles parked under the viaducts between 95th and 87th street. Might not mean anything to you, but here in Chicago we call that expressway 'The Damn Ryan' because of its high potential for accidents, yet nobody ever pulls over unless there's something wrong with the car or the police tell us to. In all my 65 years I have never seen that many people pull over and I know that a part of it was out of fear of the thunder and lightening that was occurring

Don't get me wrong. The fear I recognized was an understandable fear, as was the fearful anticipation and consequence of the earthquake in Napa, as well as the apprehensive potential for a citizen retaliation to the two shootings by Chicago police officers. My contention is that we're living under the auspices of a media induced fear, initiated and perpetrated by the so called 'powers that be', and that the vibes created as a result only serve to keep us worried, unhappy, and wondering what's going to happen next? 

On the other hand there were the positive vibes I got from hearing again that although Chicago's own Jackie Robinson West Little Leaguers baseball team had not won the International World series, they were still the World Series champions of the United States. You see I got a chance to see their last game, and I got a chance to be on the Damn Ryan' where thousands of motorists were on their way downtown to stand in the middle of State Street and watch those young black males demonstrate that they are not a lost cause, and although they might not win every game, they refuse to be defeated. I got a chance to see their black parents, along with white, black, yellow and brown supporters say... "Later for demonstrations and uprisings and terrorism and starvation and disease and killings and all that other stuff going on. We got HOPE right now and it's going to sustain us until." 

Needless to say, the positive vibes are what I'm on now and they're going to sustain me until...that until being immeasurable because I know that things are always going to work out when they're supposed to, and that all our fears are unfounded simply because they're  only comprised of False Evidence Appearing Real. Don't be fooled by the media, or by anybody or anything else ya'll. Whatever negativity is going on...it too will pass because HOPE...which I've anagrammed as Hallowed Opportunities Provided Everyday... is inevitable and ever present. I don't know about you, but I'm living in the now yet still excited about our future. Thanks Chicago for still being my kind of town, and thanks to you for allowing me to share these vibes.

I'll Holla...

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What YOU Gon Do?

What YOU Gon Do?

My cousin, who is currently in his fifties, posted an article on Facebook the other day that described his confrontation with police at a young age. In his words…”I grew up in the 60's and 70's in W. Philly. One afternoon, I was either 12 or 13, I personally came "this close" to being shot by the police in front of my own house.” He went on to explain how he had first hand knowledge, and thereby understood how and why black youth are still being accosted by law officers simply by the virtue of their being black. After talking with him, I learned that his commentary was in response to a caucasian friend, who although aware of the recent police shooting of an unarmed man in Ferguson, Missouri, still shared a video on Facebook, that tried to justifiably explain how black youth provoke policemen into shooting them. My cousin’s intent was to negate this assertion by sharing a personal experience that gave credibility to what black male youth are still experiencing, on a day to day basis, and to make his friend aware that black people have and are still experiencing a unique form of racism that people of other cultures do not understand.

Because he is an articulate and competent black physician, my cousin’s colleagues responded to his article with complete surprise. Most of them would have never believed or even considered that he was raised in what we refer to as the ghetto, and they expressed adoration for his willingness to openly share his story, and even more importantly, they were inadvertently co opted into questioning the validity of their own presuppositions and the accurateness of media based information. The consequences of my cousin’s action were very thought provoking to say the least.

These observations, on my part, led to the motive behind this particular discourse, namely…”What YOU gon do?”  It doesn’t take much, just a realization that complacency is rampant among us, and it’s imperative that a commitment be made by each of us to do what we can to eradicate the senselessness that pervades this world of ours. Racism is not the only issue that needs to be addressed, but be ever aware that racism, ethnicity, and religion are still the major means being employed to both commit and to justify the atrocities that are permeating each and every segment of our planet. 

 

• In Missouri the National Guard has been commissioned to assist the police in assaulting demonstrators who are protesting the killing of unarmed black people. 

• In the Sudan, millions of innocent Darfurians are still being affected by the ongoing genocide initiated by the Sudanese government years ago. 

• In Burma, the military regime is still committing mass atrocities against ethnic minorities. and... 

• In Iraq, different ethno-religious sects have been clashing, resulting in the deaths of up to 100,000 civilians since the 2003 US invasion.

None of this kind of stuff is new ya’ll, but we can do something new to offset it. Let’s start off by talking about these types of things, in public, with a beneficial purpose in mind. Let’s share our own personal, and perhaps frightening experiences, and how we managed to reach a state of mind that allowed us to elicit both empathy and sympathy, to those who are still undergoing a similar state of turmoil. Let’s discuss how important it is for each of us to learn and study the circumstances of an incident, before casting judgement and condemnation on a person/situation…and doing so only as a result of something we heard. More importantly, let’s not allow lies to be perpetrated in our presence without responding in kind with the truth. It’s only my opinion, yet I believe that we can all look forward to the creativity and collaboration that’s about to ensue.

Thanks Cuz for ‘settin it off’, and thanks to all of you for at least giving thought to ‘what YOU gon do’!!!

I’ll holla…

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HOW TO GET ATTENTION

There are two beings in my life that I've learned more from than I ever expected. These two are my dog Coco Bella and granddaughter Leia Nicole. The reason is because the love they have for me is unconditional, and they're completely honest and unflinching in their attempts to communicate.  One of the most valuable lessons that I've learned from the both of them is the length sentient beings are willing to go to get attention.

Coco is 5 years of age and will whine, moof (a weird sound that I've only heard her make), pick up a toy and run crazily back and forth, pick up her dish and drop it at your feet, and playfully jump on whoever comes near her. Leia, on the other hand, is 10 months old and cries, hollers like no other, claps her hands, dances while sitting down, hits the table or whatever is in reaching distance that she can elicit a sound from, and if provoked will hit you or even herself. Now mind you, both are two of the most wonderful creatures you'd want to be around, but be ever aware that they'll do whatever necessary to both make you aware and periodically remind you of their presence.

What I've learned from them is that the desire for attention starts early on. What has been confirmed for me, through their uninhibited methods of garnering attention, is that most of us still seek it and have developed seemingly inadvertent ways for doing so. We call ourselves humble, low-key, and say things like, "I'm satisfied with just being me". But let someone not speak to us, or not congratulate us on what we deem an achievement, or not say "thank you" or "I'm sorry", and we're in a total uproar. Mind you, most of us are not going to hit, run, holler at, or jump on that someone, but believe you me, probably the next person we talk to is going to hear about the nerve of that '#*&@%!?' for not acknowledging us.

Is there something wrong with desiring attention? Of course not. We are sentient beings who have feelings and want others to acknowledge, appreciate, and share in our sensitivities. However, the way we go about it may benefit from a little tweaking. Now we don't have to be brutally honest like Leia and Coco, although being honest with others can prove beneficial in some situations, but we should not expect others to devote themselves entirely to what it is we seek, because let's face it...they're focused on seeking that same thing from us...attention.

Well.. "What now"? you might ask. My contention is that we diminish our efforts to seek attention, and expend more energy on giving it. You see,  what I've also learned from Coco and Leia is that they are truly appreciative of a physical or verbal caress, and display instant gratification when their desire for attention is met. However, I must be careful to administer it in moderation because we don't want to be responsible for either of them becoming addicted to it. The same applies to those we seek attention from. Give them some attention. Because they're a little older than my two compatriots we automatically assume that they see things the way we do, but that is not always the case. Sometimes, like us, they just want some sympathy, empathy, or just a little bit of rhythm from another so that their own self worth and well-being can be substantiated. It's not going to be easy cause it's pretty difficult to tolerate a 'big ole baby', but I've been one a few times and I truly appreciated anybody who demonstrated grace and mercy to me during one of those attention craving spells. Believe you me, I was more than gratified, I was totally satisfied and I know that the positive energy I had received was passed right back to the one who gave it to me.

Let's give it a shot. Let's try giving rather than receiving and then determine, after a few attempts at doing so, if the warmth and sense of transformation we derive from being attentive to the needs and desires of another, isn't just as good or better than the attention we so consciously or inadvertently seek.

I'll holla.


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WHY YOU LIE ?

If you're withholding information that's pertinent to the situation, are you lying? My mother believes that you are. She used to tell my sisters and I that if we only told half the story we were lying, and that we would be in trouble if she heard the other half of the story from somebody else...Her question to us ..."Why You Lie?"

When I was about twelve or thirteen, and considering a means of income, my father told me that when he was my age he had two paper routes. A week or so later I started delivering the Chicago American newspaper, and about five or six years after that we visited my father's boyhood home of Stamps, Arkansas, and they still didn't have a newspaper... The question I wanted to ask my father back then..."Why You Lie?"

In the first example it's pretty obvious that deceit is involved when you tell only half the story, and in most cases, telling the other half would be self-incriminating. When my mother asked me where I was, I could readily say that I was down the street, but I could't say I was at Tuley Park because I wasn't supposed to cross King Drive Avenue. It was the fear factor ya'll. I was afraid that if I told the whole truth, omitting nothing, then I would be inviting more drama into my life and I certainly didn't want to have any more problems than the onesI had already created.

The second example also demonstrated fear, but this time on my father's part. He, like any loving father, was afraid that his son might choose a way of life that did not foster discipline and accountability. So he said and did what he thought was necessary to insure that I was involved in activities that provided the best means for my becoming a disciplined, self-supporting adult. What he said would probably be considered what is called a 'little white lie', that was told for my own good, but nonetheless, it was not the truth.

There you have it. Examples of two different situations, each stemming from an entirely different motives...the first to hide an act of disobedience, the second to inspire responsibility. However,  they are both based on the same consciousness...that consciousness being one of fear. Now I'm not going to discuss the duality of lying through omission or telling a little white lie for someone else's benefit, nor am I going to judge either of them as being right or wrong. But I will suffice it to say that the reason we lie is out of F.E.A.R., an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. My momma believed my false evidence and I believed my daddy's and as a result we will never know how our lives might have been different had the truth been told.

The reasons we give in response to the question... Why you lie?... can be rationalized, intellectualized, fantasized or our response can be just another lie in and of itself. The fact of the matter is that we give false evidence because we are afraid of the consequences that might ensue if we tell the truth. Let's  start living in the today and thereby eliminating the fear of being found out tomorrow. We don't know how our lying will affect us or the other person(s) we have involved in our falsehood, but what we do know is that telling the truth will definitely shed some light on our situation, and possibly make us accountable for being who we truly are. The end result can then be looked at and discussed in terms of whether or not telling the truth will ultimately benefit all involved in that particular situation.

We're spiritual beings having a human experience, and because of it's very nature, our humanness negates perfection. Nonetheless  we can all strive to be in a place where our answer to the question...Why you lie?...becomes "I didn't". Let's give it a try ya'll, let's try to always tell the truth and watch what happens.


I'll holla...

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Accounting Ain't That Hard

Now that I've gotten the attention I'm looking for let me lovingly inform you that this posting is not about numbers but about character and respect. There are only two reasons for the way we behave...one is to give love and the other is to receive it. Now we have all made conscious attempts to love someone else, but most of the time the reason for our actions come from the subconscious. What we sometimes don't recognize, from  a conscious perspective, is that what we're really doing is looking for love through the acceptance and attention of that someone else. I suggest that if we focus a little bit more on giving love, by being accountable for our actions, all components of LOVE that we seek, including acceptance and attention, will be a direct result.

My friend Murray used to always say ..."My word is my bond", and he did his best to follow up on what he had promised he would do, or let you know that he couldn't do it. I'v e run into countless others though, who seem to feel that if you say something and change your mind, you don't have to notify the person you said it to. This leads me to conclude that what you said you were going to do was said for the sake of your receiving love, in the form of attention and acceptance, from the person you said it to. Your word was not bonded however, and thereby the thought that you might be giving it out of love was negated because what you said was not fulfilled nor was the potential recipient notified.

This whole discussion may seem a bit trite to some, so let's look back at our own lives for a moment. As a child did your mother or father promise to take you somewhere or do something for you and didn't come through? When confronted and they responded with "Oh I forgot" or "We can do it another time" did you feel loved or neglected and unimportant? Well the same applies today to grown folks. When you say something to me I feel that you love me enough to share your intention(s), then when you don't let me know that you've changed your mind and I find out that you did, I feel neglected, unloved, and perhaps even betrayed.  All of this simply stems from a lack of accountability, and that's BIG ya'll.

In his book 'The Four Agreements', Don Miguel Ruiz contends that the first agreement, "Be impeccable with your word...is the most important one and also the most difficult one to honor."  What is your word according to Mr. Ruiz? "The word is a force; it is the power ...to create the events in your life. But like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or...can destroy everything around you." Your word is something you will be held accountable for, whether you choose to be or not. What you say, and whether you uphold it or not, will determine how others see you and it will significantly influence the legacy you are creating.

Accounting or rationalizing and explaining our actions ain't that hard ya'll, it's being accountable for the words we speak that present the problem. The simplest way to resolve the issue of unaccountability is to understand that whoever you give your word to is looking for the love that ensues as a result of your following through with what you said you would do. Following through might be of little value to you, but you should try and understand that it might be of utmost importance to another.

 It's about accountability ya'll, all about giving love to another by simply formulating our actions so that they show we care. If we can't follow through with what we said we would do, then let's show some love by letting our loved one know, as soon as we can, and thereby freeing them to show love, rather than a long unhappy face, to someone else. Giving love is reciprocal. What we give to one goes to another and somehow comes back to us. Let's focus more on giving rather than receiving, if only for a minute, and see what happens. I bet that if we do LOVE will increase exponentially, on a universal scale, simply because each of us has given our word and followed through. Let's try it. Then, if you don't mind, get back and let a brother know what happened...You have my word... I'll share what you've shared with me with others, or let you know why I didn't.

I'll holla...


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The Who and The Why

Isn't it amazing, yet standard practice, for us to question our existence? At birth, while having our first encounter with the breath of life, I'm sure we asked ourselves "Where am I?"  Then we started noticing things like fingers, toes, our surroundings and other people, and we begin to wonder what purpose they serve in regard to us. As time goes by, and we go from infant to toddler to child, we begin to interact with our new found discoveries and begin to understand their relationship to us. It is then that we develop a desire to move forward, to experience new things, and to find out what other possibilities are available to us because we want to know all there is to know about our existence. We're like the kindergartener whose grandfather picked him up and asked him "So how was your first day of school grandson? "It was fine grandpa..." he answered, "...but how much longer do I have to do this?"

Well that was his first encounter with the world outside of his comfort zone and, like all of us, this young guy was not yet fully satisfied with where he was at this juncture in his life. He was looking for that one thing... that one person... that one place that would give him a sense of fulfillment. Yes he had unawaringly reached that juncture in time where his major objective became finding the answer to that timeless two part question, that perpetually pops up at different phases in all of our lives..."Who am I, and why am I here?" We go from one place to the next, from one escapade to  another. We learn from our experiences, we attempt to expand our horizons, yet that elusive question, "Who am I, and why am I here?", follows and finds us no matter where we go.

What I've decided is that we approach this question from where we are right now. We answer the first part of it by identifying ourselves as a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew,  a child of the universe or whatever spiritual foundation we might be working from, and use it as the response to that part of the question that asks "Who am I?" As for the "Why am I here?" part, we respond from the premise of I'm giving of myself for the benefit of others. Now how to we employ that practice? We ask ourselves what would I enjoy doing right now? We make the answer to that question a criteria for choosing the course of action, always purposing in our mind a means by which our choice can benefit another.

What does that look like. Well here's a few examples:

"I want to go to the show, so I'm going to take my friend so that the two of us we can enjoy the movie together." or..."I'm going to enroll in this Syncopated Ladies Boot Camp, and brush up on my tap dancing skills so I can share my joy of dance with someone else." or..." I'm going back to school so I can get more knowledge, make more money, and better my chances of being able to send my young daughter to college." or even..." I'm going to walk along the beach and speak to at least one person while doing so." It's simple...Be who you are, do what you enjoy doing, and think of someone else in the process.

It's a 'WE' thang ya'll, and until we all free ourselves of feeling of little or no value, until we liberate ourselves from a sense of having no real purpose, no one of us can be truly free to fulfill our collaborative purpose for being here...to help one another. We're all in this together. and it don't take much to make it work. Let's do this ya'll.

I'll holla...


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Where Have All The Children Gone

I’d like to thank my eldest nephew for teaching me how not to change diapers, by peeing right in my face when I first attempted to change his. I’d also like to thank my niece for instructing me on the importance of being patient with a child’s development. I was highly eager for her to start conversing with me, but once she got started I often wished that she would stop talking and go somewhere and sit down. I convey appreciation to my sister in law for allowing me an opportunity to take her children to Brookfield Zoo and her grandchildren to the beach, because I too was able to experience the utter joy demonstrated by children who ‘discover’ something for the very first time.

I’d like to express my gratitude to the elementary school students at St. Marks’ church who exemplified such an innate desire to learn and a heartfelt appreciation to us tutors who took time out to assist them in their endeavors. A shout out to the Teen Identity youth at New Life Covenant church who proved to me that spiritual food must be given with care and not forced upon those young ones who are unconsciously seeking balance between the teachings of the church and the calling of the streets. And countless kudos to the elementary and high school students  at the Lighthouse Youth Center who unabashedly showed me that society’s looking down on their economic and social strata would not deter them from achievement as long as somebody, who cared, challenged and pushed them to succeed.

I’m of the mindset however, that for some time now, there have been no children just very youthful looking people. Our being ‘friends’ with our own children for fear of them not liking us, and fearful of other folks’ children cause they look and act like thugs and thugettes, has inadvertently coerced all of our children into feeling that they must take matters into their own hands. We are basically depriving them of their childhood and pushing them to be what we and they deem as being more responsible, when in reality they’re  only looking and acting grown but are still not being accountable for their behavior. We are dressing our 2 and 3 year olds like the 12 and 13 year olds, who’ve become a bit repugnant to us, and then we wonder what’s wrong with our youth. We complain about how our sons and daughters are raising our grandchildren, yet we say nothing to them cause we don’t want to get in their ‘business’.

Caring for a child of any age is a challenging yet rewarding experience. Of utmost importance is that we, as caretakers, recognize and understand the ramifications inherent in our interactions. My contention is that we take on the role of parent/facilitator, rather than provider/friend, and provide an environment that allows our children’s voices to be heard because we can gain so much by intently listening to what they have to say. I contend that It is in the best interest of all that we disseminate and discuss information from all sides rather than insisting that one is right and the other wrong. At the same time, we must let it be known, that we will be fair in our decisions but, because of our God Given authority, we will have the final say. This approach will work because, believe it or not, from birth to adulthood and beyond, our young ones are subconsciously seeking discipline and guidance from those of us who they deem capable of administering it. 

Our children are still here ya’ll, just hidden by a consciousness that tells them to act all grown like they know what they’re doing, and when they get exposed for not knowing, to act like  babies insisting that nobody understands them and nobody cares. We can learn a lot from our children, but first we must help them to find and stay in their zone, and the only way we can do that is by finding and staying in our own.

I’ll holla


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