Go With The Flow

As I sit in a Vancouver coffe shop watching people pass by, it seems the same here as anywhere else, everybody appears to be going with the flow. They're seemingly oblivious to everything going on around them and hell bent on reaching their respective destinations. It's as if everything's all right with the rest of the world and the space each one is in is all that really matters. I'm reminded of a time in 1973 when I was leaning on a glass shoe case situated between the two display windows of the Baker's Shoe Store in downtown Chicago. As I watched the people passing by, having pretty much the same attitude as the people I'm observing now, I directed my attention to something that no one else seemed to even notice. A guy is running from across the street toward me, with two arms full of leather jackets. As he approaches a parked car; the driver gets out, opens the rear door, the runner throws in the jackets, closes the door and scurries to the passenger side. Within seconds the car is moving north on State Street, no one is coming out of the store, and the passer bys are still passing by. I'm standing there in awe while the flow is continuing as if nothing has happened and everything is all right.

Well everything ain't all right because, at least in this particular instance, the price of leather jackets probably increased. Like the passers by however, most of us are complacent when it comes to establishing equitable conditions for all, and are thereby limited to reacting to unfavorable situations caused by 'others'. And then, to add insult to injury, we complain about those other people without realizing that albeit not in our best interest, their creative energy has been favorably utilized on their own behalf. What we must realize and accept is that the person(s) employing that form of creativity are  reacting to circumstances created by someone else. Existent in our lives today is a prevailing social consciousness of "not enough for me so I'm gonna take somebody else's", and while some are creating a means for getting more, the rest of us react by trying to protect and hold on to what we've got. We inadvertently go with the flow rather than attempting to create a means of establishing a more equitable environment for ourselves and others.

So where do we go from here? Well there are certain practices that I find conducive to spiritual growth and that serve as a catalyst for positive creativity. One such practice I've run across is called the 'Essene Communions'. In a translation of one of these communions, by Edmond Szekely, we find the following supplication: "Angel of Creative Work, descend upon humanity and give abundance to all men (women)." Because everything we put into the spiritual universe becomes manifest in the earthly realm, I'm going to ask that you do as I do and repeat the aforementioned affirmation aloud every day, paraphrasing it if need be, for the next seven days. This small gesture of love will allow us an opportunity to give a little of ourselves, while simultaneously promoting a consciousness of 'more than enough'. This in turn, will stimulate our creativity because we will have the mindset of, as Pastor John F. Hannah puts it, "living in the overflow", and not feel stifled by a false sense of 'not enough'. So work with me for the next few days to co-create another flow. Let's give a few words and a few seconds of our time to a whole world of folks, some of whom we don't even know. There's no telling what might happen and, if nothing else, it will certainly help us to feel a little better about ourselves and increase the hopes of harmony and peace for the world in which we live.



Holla back,if the spirit moves you, by clicking on comments or emailing me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com

What's Making You Itch?

This itching is really bothering me. I don't know what's causing it nor how to stop it. I ask God on a pretty regular basis but have yet to get an answer. Is it my nerves, something I'm eating, or a combination of both? Is it a metaphysical manifestation of some lack in my character, or an indication of a shortfall in terms of what I should be doing with my life. Maybe it's because I don't drink enough water to adequately release the toxins that have been activated due to the change in eating habits, and now they're trying to exit through my pores. Whatever the case might be, it's certainly an aggravating situation.

Don't we all have this itch at some point or another...this perpetual annoyance that beset our lives with a yearning for it to stop? " I gotta get out of here" we cry, "Let me go." But it won't stop, it refuses to let us go. Then we concede and half-heartedly accept it because there are other things going on outside of this itch that we must give our attention to. As we try to convince ourselves that some day it will go away, and as our hope is continuously renewed by its subsiding from time to time, we tell ourselves over and over that soon it'll be gone and we'll be at peace once more. After all, we surmise, we are whole and complete, made in the image and likeness of God. It's just a matter of recognizing and reminding ourselves of that fact, and allowing ourselves to be at peace with whatever circumstances and situations we find ourselves in.Then, when we are prepared to receive it, the answer to our seeming dilemma will present itself.

Whoop, there it is. I know what's going on. Something is trying to get out and I'm inadvertently holding it in. I've got to determine what the cause(s) of the anxiety that's going on inside of me is; and then address and release it by making it manifest in, or removing it from, my everyday life experiences. It might be the book I'm writing, the mission I'm on, or the major endeavor we're all involved in...more love, more peace, and more joy. On the other hand it could be those organic potato chips or those chocolate bars reportedly sweetened with raw cane sugar. What and whatever it is, I've got to let it out, got to let it go cause then and only then will the itching stop. Let me get on it now.

Wanna comment or help a brother out? Click comment or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com

The Transition Is Now

There’s an adage that invokes the belief that ‘time is of the essence.' For me what we do right now is all that really matters because essentially, right now is all we have. What we consider as time gone past or future time is merely a reflection of what we think we’ve already done, or a mental precursor to what we think we’re about to do. Even the transition from this world to the next is not about time, but about what we are doing at that moment, and how we’re feeling about what is taking place.

My being present during the illness of a friend put all this in perspective for me, and I’d like to share with you the essence of this experience, using time only as a point of reference. My friend was rushed to the hospital on New Year’s Eve of 2011, and subsequently diagnosed with a colon blockage. He was operated on, the aftermath of which led to double pneumonia, urinary tract infection, and other correlative dysfunctions. Later on a tracheotomy was performed to assist him in his breathing, a tube inserted into his stomach because his ability to swallow was compromised, and a barrage of antibiotics and medications were administered to hopefully aid his body in the healing process. It was evident that his stay would be infused with difficulty, and his family, myself and even the doctors were doubtful, to say the least, that a recovery would take place. The matter of time was what was uppermost in our consciousness, but as it seemed to pass by ever so slowly, it became obvious that my friend was totally focused on right now, and we soon realized that right now...he was not ready to die. 

By late February my friend had recovered enough to be moved from the hospital to an acute care facility where he acknowledged that he had indeed experienced an encounter with death and had resolved that he was not yet ready to go. His determination, resilience and perseverance led to a remarkable recovery and another recuperative transfer to a skilled nursing facility in mid May. At this point, the only obstacle that kept him from moving in with his daughter’s family was getting to the point where he was able to orally ingest his food. Although I was physically present during his four-hour hiatus from the facility on May 28, I cannot aptly express the joy displayed during the visit to his daughter’s home, and how that ‘right now’ was unmistakably one of his life’s highest points.

I don’t see change as better or worse but as an opportunity for us to possibly alter our attitude and/or behavior.  An unforeseen change took place on June 4, and my friend was rushed to the hospital again. Barely able to breathe he was adamant about his disagreement with the doctor’s prognosis. “He said I’m going to be in this hospital for two weeks " he told his daughter, son and I. “You all get together and let him know that I’m getting out of here in three days cause I’m not going through this again.” It’s now three days later, Thursday June 7, 2012, and his condition has plummeted to the point where a steady flow of life sustaining medication is the only option. Everyone agreed that his life is all about right now and it’s evident that living like this is not what Dad wants. His daughter, two sons, granddaughter and myself are at his bedside not conscious of the time, not concerned about how long he has, but caught up in the present. A change of magnanimous proportion has occurred, and we see it as an opportunity to go with the flow, adjusting our attitude and resolve to make things as comfortable as possible for all involved.

Before his transition everyone at his bedside heard my friend's youngest son proclaim that he had believed from the time he was about three years of age, that he was his father’s least favorite son. He based this assumption on the time during his parent’s two-year separation when his father came to the mother’s home, took the older brother to live with him, and left the younger brother behind. Here it is fifty years later and he is still experiencing a sense of abandonment. Fortunately his older brother set the story straight by letting him know that their father picked him up just for the summer, and that the only reason for the younger brother's staying behind was the parent’s agreeing that he was too young to leave his mother for such an extended period. I then remembered my friend having shared that he thought he was his younger son’s least favorite parent, and cannot help but believe that he heard the entire conversation. The younger son was visibly elated and relieved by his brother's explanation, and as my friend exhaled that last breath and a sense of completion and contentment enveloped his very being, I know that he was relieved and elated as well. There's no telling how both their lives and their relationships might have been improved had that conversation taken place when the son was a child.

Everyone present was completely moved by this pensive yet strangely exhilarating experience, and I feel compelled to share it because it so aptly illustrates the importance of the now. It doesn’t really matter what time it is, what matters is what we do with it. It’s all about the present and it's important to remember that every moment we have is a present from God and what we do with that moment is our present to God. How grateful I am to have witnessed that there’s no telling how the changes that occur in our lives might unfold, and how fortunate I feel that lives can be made better as a result of transition/change. Who can foretell the amount of joy that can be experienced if we teach our children, and demonstrate to others, the possible benefits inherent in sharing our now right now rather than later.

Thank you my friend and family for allowing me to see your lives unfold and for giving me the opportunity to truly understand and appreciate the ‘right now moment.’

Wanna holla back? Click comments or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com.

Children Are Our Future...Who Really Cares?

Marvin Gaye's rendition of the 'Star Spangled Banner' was what initiated my pride in being an  American; but his articulation of the following lyrics, from the song 'Save The Children', written by Al Cleveland, Renaldo Benson, and himself, was what it took to initiate and substantiate an understanding of my purpose for being here.

"I just want to ask a question
Who rally cares?
To save a world in despair...


When I look at the world it fills me with sorrow
Little children today
are really going to suffer tomorrow...


You see, let's save the children
Let's save all the children
Save the babies, save the babies."
                                                                                

Whitney Houston is equally unsurpassed in her rendition of the the song 'The Greatest Love of All." and unequivocally expressed the lyrics written by Linda Creed, who was struggling with breast cancer at the time and because of Whitney, was blessed to see her song become an international hit before succumbing to the disease.

"I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be."
                                       

Sometimes we allow the negative aspects of a person's life override our recognition of their contributions. If you've never heard Whitney or Marvin sing the songs I've mentioned, take the opportunity to do so and honestly tell me that you cannot actually feel their compassion, concern, and connection to the children of whom they sing and share with us through song. Taking into consideration that they did what they could with the cards they were dealt, let's put the causes of their untimely deaths aside and take time out to thank them for one of the reasons they graced this planet, that being to artistically and vehemently convey a meaningful message to all of us about our role in molding the future of our collective lives.

With this in mind, I dedicate this blog to all of you who embody and make manifest the words of the aforementioned songs. On behalf of the children, I personally thank all the stepfathers and stepmothers who have stepped forward and decided to do your best to love and support the children that you are not biologically related to. I thank all the  grossly underpaid school teachers for your continued efforts to educate our  children, especially the ones that the system feels are unteachable. I thank the coaches who not only show our youth how to engage in sports in a positive manner; but also teach them how to garner self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence while demonstrating respect for both themselves and others. I thank everyone else, especially you my readers, who have contributed to the welfare of a child other than your own. Raising your own flesh and blood is no easy task, and I would be remiss in not recognizing those of you who have and/or are still raising children that are biologically related. So last but certainly not least, I take this time to thank you as well for what you've done and for what you continue to do.

Yes, the children are our future and I am totally convinced that we do care. We may not ever be renown in this realm for what we've done, but rest assured that the universe acknowledges, accepts, and celebrates our contributions no matter how minute they may seem. Remember that it was folks just like us, through a combination of constructive comments and positive reinforcement, that contributed to a child becoming the first black president of the United States of America. Sometimes all it takes is a compliment from a stranger to make a child's day, so let's stay encouraged and continue to do what we can while keeping in mind that our intent is to make a contribution to what the future holds for ourselves and for our children.

Thank you Whitney and Marvin for your roles in continuing to uplift and inspire.



Wanna holla back? Click comments or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com.

Does Anybody Know We're Here?

There are two desires, recognition and acceptance, that permeate the human psyche from the moment of incarnation into this realm of existence until our transition to the next. They are two very simple concepts, yet by not employing them in our interaction with one another, we become prone to judging each other from a hierarchical point of view (as better or less than ourselves). A scene from the movie 'The Color Purple' aptly illustrates these concepts, and speaks volumes for how absurd yet necessary it is that we remind one another of how important we are. Celie is about to leave Mista. Mista expresses that he is her only hope for survival because her worthlessness will not allow her to be successful or of any meaningful use to any one else. In response Celie spits my favorite and what I deem as the most important line in the whole movie... "I'm poor, black; I may even be ugly. But dear God! I'm here! I'm here!" From time to time we go to great lengths to express our desires for recognition and acceptance, but unlike Celie unfortunately, our acts of desperation can sometimes result in detriment and destruction. 

Case in point is the unwarranted violence displayed in the city of Chicago this past weekend. The following is from an article, by Tribune reporters Jeremy Gorner and John Byrne, related to that situation:


"...Police Superintendent Gerry McCarthy said the department's strategy to curb gang violence throughout the city is working..."As for this weekend; I know of at least five or six shootings that were retaliatory that we didn't get in front of," McCarthy said...(Mayor Rahm) Emmanuel talked about efforts he has previously discussed to provide beat officers with better gang intelligence...toward a proactive footing in the fight against crime."


It would take too much time and space to discuss the unintended irony inherent in the foregoing passages, so I'm going to leave it up to you guys to comment on the city's means of curbing gang violence. It is my belief that curbing gang violence is not the answer. Reevaluating and changing our attitude toward it is. It is imperative that we begin addressing the desires of our children prior to them seeking to meet these desires through means that lead to the detriment of themselves and others. At some point in every child's life they feel unnoticed and unaccepted for who they are. The inability or unwillingness to express this emotional discomfort causes dissatisfaction and a burning need to somehow attain these beguiling and elusive states of recognition and acceptance, by whatever means necessary. Gang membership and other subversive behaviors not only offer the opportunity to be accepted for who one is or seeks to be, but also offers the vicarious pleasure of being deemed worthy of participation in subversive activities. This is not to say that unmet desires are the sole cause of errant behavior, but that addressing these desires at a young age will certainly have its benefits.


No one sees his or her self as being in perfect alignment with the societal concepts of good looking, having a banging body, a loving spouse of comparable physical and emotional attributes, and two wonderful children whose college expenses are being held in a tax exempt interest bearing mutual fund. All of us do not have walk-in closets displaying the latest fashions, housed in a 2500 square foot home, with a heated swimming pool in the back yard, an attached three car garage for our two high end late model automobiles, all sitting on two acres of land and supported by two separate six figure incomes. Yet most of us readily accept these conditions as desirable and worthy of striving for, while unaware that by doing so we inadvertently feed a sense of inadequacy which is based on our feeling that we are not yet where we feel we should be. We unconsciously belittle our youth for not doing what is necessary to better their chances of achieving the things we deem as accessible and attainable, and despise those, less financially fortunate than ourselves, who have the nerve to ask us for some of the money we intend to put toward the attainment of our own personal goals. If we are looking to gain an acceptable and recognizable position on the heirarchal ladder of success, we should remain ever aware that substantial material gain is a vain effort. All we need do is to consider those who have all the attributes and assets mentioned above, and realize that one day they will attend a Bill Gates or Warren Buffett soiree and inevitably, at some point, ask the same question we are all faced with from time to time...'Does anybody know I'm Here?'


Essentially, all we really want is for others to see and accept us for who we are, and recognize that we are doing the best we can with what we have. Whether rich/poor, black/white, young/old, gang banger/geek or anywhere in between; we all have a right and a reason to be here. So let's keep Celie and Chicago in mind and remain prepared to hear each other's initial and inaudible declaration of 'I'm here.' By adhering to the consciousness of presence and purpose, acceptance and recognition,  we offer the opportunity for ourselves and others to be all that we can be and to do all that we're put here to do.




Wanna holla back? Click comments or email me at grace.calvin 187@gmail.com

God is Good... Some Of The Time?

Ain't it something how aware we are of the Goodness of God when all is going our way? Then when we experience a setback or become uncomfortable in a situation we forget that God is still present. Whenever we feel that we're all that and a bag of chips, and a Pepsi, and a Kool Filter King, and are totally conscious of God’s Presence in our lives, we have no problem expressing this Holy Alliance. But let one thing upset us and we immediately allow our E.G.O. (Easing God Out) to take center stage and forget that we choose whether or not we want to stay connected to the ONE that is in each and every one of us. If we ever feel used, abused, and abandoned it’s because we choose to, cause God gon always do what God Do.

I'm a true believer in things happening when they're supposed to, and that it's not about what people say or don’t say in our everyday situations. It’s not about what people do or don’t do either. Instead, It’s all about how we respond to the components (people, places, and things) of the particular circumstance. If God is Present in every situation, and if God is GOOD, then every situation God allows us to be in is good. Why don’t we take our focus off of what's being done and look more closely at what God is saying to us through the experience. We’ve all been through times when somebody said something we didn’t appreciate, or times when even our children or spouses didn't heed what we knew to be in their best interest. Well how about taking our focus off them and taking a deeper look at ourselves. How about reassessing our own motives, determining what God’s Purpose is for us being in a particular situation, and then making a conscious effort to accept God’s Will even if it doesn’t coincide with our own.

My niece Tanya had a surprise birthday party in Chicago, this past Saturday, that was off the chain. I went there with the express intent of being loving and supportive, but left with a lot more than I came with. During the party my neice Crystal approached me, gave me an extremely warm hug and said “Uncle Calvin I just love your Blog”. Her mother Dina embellished that statement by reassuring me that Crystal not only reads the postings, but reiterates the content of what she has read. A little later on my niece Keisha commented that she reads the blog as well and stated, in an apologetic manner mind you, that she doesn’t take the time to respond. Then neice Dee Dee (the comedienne) let's me know that she reads them as well and if I put a like button at the bottom she'll gladly click on it, but please don’t expect a response from her either. In addition to all of that, as he's leaving the party, my brother-in-law John says he's patiently waiting for the book to come out. Now albeit my head got a bit swoll, I could not help but recognize the Goodness of God.  

In retrospect I recall my April 17, 2012 blog, Seeing Me In You, where I mentioned that I had been displeased with the lack of comments being received. My intent is to uplift and give the Word to others, so why wasn't I receiving notification that my job was being done. Well the truth is that I wasn't ready to receive it. I needed a few more humbling experiences to let me know who calls the shots, and in Whose time things take place. I still appreciate the responses to that particular blog, but in spite of their validity I still wasn't feeling the total Presence of God. Tanya’s party allowed me an opportunity to reflect and truly come to terms with the fact that God is always on time, and not only present in the good times when we’re skinning and grinning, but also when the times ain't so good like when we’re not getting what we want when we want it.

I'll be so glad when all of us get to experience heaven on earth on a regular basis. That place where peace can be found in every situation, and we can sense and appreciate the Presence of God even if things are not going the way we would like them to. God is Good. All the time, and whatever happens to us is a blessing or a lesson. Let's prepare ourselves to receive and be grateful for God’s Good, no matter in what form it may appear. Cause the party will come and, when it does, we'll be the ones celebrating the hardest.

Had a ball Tee Tee and the rest of ya’ll. Thanks to God and all of you for being there.

Wanna holla back? Click comments or email grace.calvin187@gmail.com

Baby Mamas, Delinquent Dads and Bad Ass Kids

Since I stopped getting high in 1986, I've had the privilege of seeing my mother every Mother's Day until the one celebrated this past Sunday. I am so proud and appreciative of my nephew Brandon, on the other hand, who took advantage of that day to take his wife, mother, and grandmother (my mother) to dinner at the same time. My wife Nicole, on the other hand, hasn't seen her mother since her transition in 1983, and it was comforting for both of us to be able to share a phone call with Mama Gantt in celebration of this special day. It was also very uplifting to participate in the love and appreciation that abounded when daughter Aaya presented that beautiful floral bouquet to her mama Nicole. Spending time outside afterwards, and witnessing all the mothers, young and old, proudly strutting their motherhood in big hats matching bags and shoes, did nothing less than bring unheralded joy to the beholders.

These thoughts bring me to another pre-apportioned day in June, namely Father's Day, when we specifically notice how many dads are with their children on this day in particular. We also pause at some time during that day, to consider the babies who don't get an opportunity to see their father at that time, and somehow sense that their pain is intensified in comparison to the hurt experienced during all the other days of the year. Nonetheless it does our hearts good to see the love expressed by a father for his child, and prompts us to remember and cherish the knowledge that family is the most important entity on the planet.

I love that mother and father's day are celebrated, and am sure that most of us wouldn't mind if they set a couple of Mondays aside to commemorate those 2 days. What I'm suggesting however, is that we give at least half as much attention to the positive aspects of family, on the other 363 days. When family values are discussed, let's minimize our conversations about Baby Mama Drama, Delinquent Dad Dilemma, and these Bad Ass Kids. Of course there are some mothers who focus too much on the father not being present and not enough on themselves and the child. More importantly however, these same mothers cannot help but ask themselves, on a regular basis, why their child is limited to a one parent household and what it is they can do to make things better. Let's honor all mothers by assuring them that we know they're doing the best they can with what they have to work with, and comforting them with the resolve that things will get better. There are fathers who are either claiming that the child is not theirs, or concentrating on other outlets that give them temporary relief from the anguish of their irresponsibility. We must acknowledge nonetheless, that no matter how hard they try to suppress it, the question inevitably  arises in each of their minds, on a regular basis, "Am I all the man that I'm capable of being?'  Let's remember  that "to err is human, to forgive divine" and work from that perspective when talking to the so called delinquent dad. That frame of consciousness, in and of itself, will cause him to take a different look at himself, and to reassess his role in the greater scheme of things. Those bad ass kids? They are just curious as to why we're always sweating them to accomplish more. From their perspective we, when younger, evidently didn't concentrate much on making the world a better place. because if we had, it wouldn't be in the condition it's in now. Let's face it, we either knew or were one of those bad ass kids, back in the day, so let's reminisce when talking to our children, and see what in addition to patience and understanding might have changed the course of our lives for the better, and incorporate those same ideas and thoughts into our conversation.

Hey ya'll, let's start loving and appreciating each other more by realizing that family is not just blood-related but universal. Family Day is every day so there's cause for communicative celebration on a daily basis. Let's stop looking at how it could or should be better, and start considering what we're going to do to make it better. Let's remember that all it takes is a shift in consciousness. Once we see things differently, they become different. Let's look at assets rather than liabilities and recognize that every member has something to contribute. Let's look for that attribute in each one with whom we come in contact, help them to recognize that attribute, and prompt and support them in their attempts to make it manifest  in their every day experience. We can then transcend the limitation of a one day celebration, and enter the realm of every day being a celebration because of our individual and concerted efforts to make it that way.

I'm reminded of some lyrics attributed to Robert Lamm and recorded in 1972 by the band 'Chicago'. It refers to another holiday, but aptly illustrates the message I wish to convey.

"Another day in the park, 

You'd think it was the Fourth of July.

  People dancing, really smiling, 

  A man playing guitar, Singing for us all.

  Will you help him change the world?

Can you dig it (yes I can)

And I've been waiting such a long time...

  Funny days in the park

 Every day's the fourth of July." 

Ya feel Me? Then let's designate each and every day as an opportunity to honor and celebrate one another, while unleashing universal joy in the process.




Feel free to respond by clicking the comments link or emailing me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com