To Love Is First

For a long time I'd been thinking that you had to love God, love your neighbor and then love yourself, in that order. That manner of thinking always puzzled me because I had never actually seen God, I hardly saw my neighbors, and when I looked in the mirror, on some days, I didn't even like what I saw there. Now I realized that this whole idea of love was to be viewed from a spiritual perspective, but it just wasn't easy to love a spiritual entity when I, having a human experience, didn't even love me. For quite a while, it all seemed too abstract to me. Then it finally dawned on me. If I learn to love myself, then everything else will probably fall into place.

I've always enjoyed the high that alcohol and drugs provided, but how could I love me and ingest substances that harm my heart, liver, lungs and other vital organs that God gave me to sustain my life, and to live it to the fullest. Food is a necessary form of nourishment, but how am I loving me when I constantly bombard my digestive system with substances that have no nutritional value whatsoever. I love running my mouth, but when I talk about and criticize other people of what value is it to my mental and spiritual well-being. After all, I'm the one who feels bad after disrespecting somebody else. I say I love the Lord, I say I love others, but how is that possible when I'm destroying the mind and body that God gave me, and then demeaning the character and reputation of those God put here for me to share the world with. I realized that it's impossible to like, let alone love me, if I'm going to do the things that aren't good for me to do. Then, if I ain't loving me, loving others as I love myself is entirely out of the question.

Now here's the kicker. Look back on your life and count the number of times you've heard something similar to the expression, "I love the Lord". Now add up the number of times you've heard "I love my wife or husband" (Yea, they're our neighbors too). After that add up the number of times you've heard or said something similar to this phrase, "I love me some me." Not often huh? Seems kind of selfish and self centered huh. Well, let me say this, if you want to love God, and to love your neighbor as yourself, how about learning to love you. When you get up in the morning, practice saying I love _________(put your name in the space). Then because love is an action word, start acting like it. Base everything you do, from that point till you go to bed at night, on doing only that which will make you a better person, physically, mentally, emotionally, and of course spiritually. It's probably not going to happen the first day, but with practice you'll find yourself liking and then loving you a little bit more day by day.

Now I know that I'm going to have my naysayers pushing the "Got to Love God First" card, and I say to all of you that I've tried both ways and the latter works best for me. I talked about my love for God, but in retrospect it was just talk because I didn't know how to love. In learning to love myself, and to treat myself better, I've learned how to love and treat others and, as a result, to Love God who is the One showing me how to love. So if you're there already and truly love God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, and you truly love your neighbor as you love yourself, then as Pastor John Hannah says..."God bless your ministry." If you're taking care of everything God entrusted to your care, are experiencing joy and peace, and are exhibiting kindness and self control, on a regular basis, then 'gon wit yo bad self.' But if you've had a hard time like me, do what I do. Work on loving you more and you'll be better able to love God and all your neighbors accordingly.

Whatever your choice, the objective is to love. How you prioritize it is not important; because in the final analysis, once you learn to love, you automatically become the LOVE that we've all been commissioned to share.

I'll holla...


To listen to the spoken version of To Love Is First click here.

To comment or respond, click on the word comments at the bottom of the page or email me at: grace.calvin187@gmail.com

Changing Self Helps Others

Why do we really want to help others? If we're honest about it we'll admit that one reason is because helping others makes us feel good about ourselves. Unless of course they don't appreciate what we've done. Then we have issues with ourselves for helping them, and issues with them for not thanking us enough. Ever give a homeless person two dollars and he didn't seem as grateful as the guy you gave a quarter to the day before? Ever give your significant other a gift and even though they didn't say it, they looked at you as if to say, "That's It, that's the best you could do?" What about your children? You feed em, clothe em, put a roof over their heads and they want to know why you can't buy them a new car to go to the new college that you'll be paying for for the rest of your life. Don't even mention the friend that owes you twenty dollars. They're wearing a new pair of shoes, slicker than the ones you got on, and got the nerve to say they can't pay you right now cause the mortgage is due on the new house they just bought. Think about it though. Was our motive entirely about helping somebody, or was some of it about feeling good about our being able to do so, and then being  recognized by others as a person of value.

I was just thinking about cutting out the middle man. Later for helping somebody else so I can feel good about me, I'll start doing stuff for myself and then be totally joyous and grateful for what I've done. I'll start out by getting up in the morning, looking in the mirror and giving myself some kind of compliment. I'll disregard my hair not being right, the bags under my eyes, or that new zit or wrinkle. Instead I'll focus on those cute little ears and how they make both sides of my head look good. Then I'll take a shower while thanking God that my body still works well enough to get me back and forth to where I'm going. I'll then put on the dopest outfit in my closest, just cause I feel like it, and follow up with a nutritious meal that gives me enough energy to make it to the next meal. After that I'm going to work, to school, or wherever I want to go and do the best I can to make whatever I do the best that I've ever done. Then, before going home, I'm going to take them last two or twenty dollars and buy me something that I ain't had in a long, long time. No matter how well any or all of this works out, I'm gonna to be grateful for what I've done on this day. I'm gonna feel good about me without needing validation from anybody else.


Focusing more on self sounds okay, yet even though there's no arrogance or ill will intended, it still seems to be selfish and self-centered. Ain't that ironic? We try to help others and wind up feeling inadequate and/or unappreciated. Then we do something for self and have a hard time not feeling inconsiderate and self-serving. Face it ya'll. We really don't view life in terms of what we do, we view it from the perspective of how what we do is responded to. There's no way in the world we can make others love us or feel good about themselves, because in the final analysis it's all about us and how we feel anyway. So let's either stop doing for others or stop being concerned with how what we've done is received. Let's start looking closer at what we're doing so we can start feeling better about what we've done. We might think that there's nothing we can do to actually make the world a better place, but in feeling good about what we've done our attitude, about how we view the world, can change. Let's be less concerned with how we're seen and focus more on how we see ourselves. Let's all be who we want others to see; and the whole world will change for the better as a result of it.


To hear the audio version of 'Changing Self Helps Others' click Here.

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It's Not About Being Right...It's About Being Better

I mentioned in my April 2 blog, entitled 'Wake Up And See What's Real', that my father had made two comments which I'll never forget. In attending President Obama's Inauguration earlier this week, there was another one of my father's comments that came to mind. In this comment he said..."I might not always be right, but I'm never wrong." When first heard at the age of twelve or thirteen, I viewed it as boastful and pretentious; and for me that just wasn't 'right'. With time however, it has taken on new meaning; and now I see that same comment as one of confidence, truth and applicability to every man, woman, and child on the planet. As long as malice is not our intent, we are not 'wrong' for viewing things as we do, or for saying the things that we say. We might not be 'right' in the eyes of others, but we aren't 'wrong' as long as we desire to do the 'right' thing; and at the moment we're doing it, we feel that it's the 'right' thing to do.

President Obama's first inaugural address reflected the problems that we all face, and it was also comprised of hopes, dreams, and ideals that would better the condition of not only the American people, but would address the shared goals of prosperity and peace desired by folk across the globe. In his address he said the following, "...the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short period of time. But know this, America___they will be met." Now most of these challenges have not been met yet, but I can't help but believe that his intent was, and still is to do the best he can with what he has to work with. In my October 2 blog, entitled "Our Connection Is Not An Option...It's A Necessity", I said that "...once President Obama is re-elected he can start incorporating the thoughts of the people in his decision making..." It seems that the president is somehow connected with this concept because his second inaugural address was inundated with implications of what we the American people can do, rather than what he, the American president, plans to do or has already done. One example of this connection is a passage in his second inaugural address that reads as follows, "For now decisions are upon us and we cannot afford delay... We must act, knowing that our work will be imperfect." This is indicative of the fact that Mr. Obama has realized that despite possible failure and inadequacies, we must be willing to continually implement different means for achieving desired outcomes. He fully understands that he has not done the best that can possibly be done, and is again imploring us to help him better fulfill the objectives that we all share. 

What we can learn from all of this is the fact that anytime we experience discontent with someone or some thing, anytime we feel that someone has said or done something 'wrong', it's the universe's way of telling us to check ourselves. You see it's not up to us to judge what's 'wrong' with what people think, say or do...it's up to us to respond in a way that is in the best interest of everyone involved. Focusing on 'so and so' did this, or 'so and so' didn't do what he said he would, is not the way to go. Instead it's about what should I do in response do what 'so and so' did or didn't do. What can I do to not look at what somebody said or did as wrong, but to look at what I can do to make it better. In speaking of Tavis Smiley, Cornell West, and Jesse Jackson, and the concept of 'all talk and no action' I said the following in my April 17 blog, entitled 'Seeing Me In You'. This is what I said... "So when I envisioned Tavis, Cornell, and Jesse as being lax in their actions, I was really seeing an expression of...my own shortcomings. I had looked at them and seen me."  Now I wasn't 'wrong' in thinking as I did before I clearly saw what I was doing, but once I got clarity, it wouldn't have been 'right' if I hadn't at least tried to be different and to do better.

The universe is calling on all of us to better understand who we are and why we're here. Our purpose is not to judge or condemn others, it's to better understand ourselves because only then can we truly help one another...and ultimately; that's why we're here. It's about progress ya'll...not perfection. So let's give ourselves, and everybody else the chance to better understand who we are and where we're trying to go. Let's remember that we might not always be 'right'... but we're never 'wrong' as long as we have breath, and we're willing to do what's best. There's always an opportunity to do better than we did, and to be better than we were. Let's give ourselves and everybody else that chance.


I thank my Daddy again for giving me a part of him, so that I could share it with you.


To hear the audio version click here 


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Stop...Get Out...Go In

I'm back after having spent 21 days in Italy. The world was supposed to, but it didn't end while I was there. Obama is going to be president again, and people are are still talking recession and claiming depression. Some folk are experiencing health issues and still doing the same things that made them sick. Yet, in spite of the fact that all this stuff is going on, in spite of the fact that the money is still funny all over the globe, and every baby needs a new pair of shoes, all might not be well with the world but the universe is unfolding exactly as it should.

In regard to that trip to Italy I had an opportunity to reflect on my own spiritual condition, and thought  about how the bible is one of the most prolific and historical accounts of mankind that I've ever read. Despite the belief that it's the inspired Word of God, I had to acknowledge that it is still somebody else's story. No matter how it's expressed, it's inevitably the personal interpretation of the truth by each writer as influenced by their upbringing, their environment, their prejudices, their judgements, and their spiritual condition at the time. Not to say there is no validity in what they're saying, but whatever comes out of one's mouth is first of all their own understanding of what it is they're talking about. Secondly there's the subsequent hope that those who hear or read what they've said, will gain some type of benefit from what's being shared. Not to diminish their importance, but Matthew, John, Paul and them experienced the Presence of God according to their own understanding, and related what they felt as best they could according to what they had to work with. What we gain from their experience is dependent, in a spiritual sense, on where we are at the time.

Well, that time in Italy reminded and convinced me that we've got to get away from time to time, and find out where we are spiritually. The moments during our stay that remain most vivid in my mind are the visits to those more than a thousand year old cathedrals located in Milan, Trento, Pisa, Rome and other Italian cities. The outside of these edifices were awe inspiring, but to go inside and behold the massive marble sculpted columns, the towering gold embroidered ceilings, the 400 square foot oil painted murals that adorned the walls, and the sheer vastness and splendor of the interior gave OMG a new meaning. This, along with the thoughts of how much blood, sweat, and tears of both slave and artisans it took to erect and adorn these edifices, and how the money spent was probably that of the same people who toiled to make these structures manifest, sent chills of mixed emotions cascading through my very being. I remember grabbing my wife's hand while present there, getting down on my knees and thanking God for the unheralded blessings we have received because of our Creator's bountiful blessings of mercy and grace. I was consciously and vehemently assured and convinced that we have really done nothing to actually deserve all those blessings, except perhaps in our attempt to be obedient to what we feel is the so-called gospel truth. The spiritual essence present in those age-old Italian edifices, the knowledge that millions of pilgrims seeking the Presence of God for centuries had knelt in those same spots, and the hope that our homage, prayer, and thanksgiving would evoke some semblance of peace and well-being to our souls and the souls of all who labored to grant us an opportunity to be there, was more than enough to convince me that we were in the right place at the right time. Those relationship moments were undeniably what I needed to be reminded, that peace can certainly be gained by dwelling in the Presence of the Most High.

Stuff happens ya'll. All things are not going to be all right all the time. From time to time we must stop, get out, and go in. My friend Lisa shared that here lately she had not been in the best of spirits and a friend told her to literally take a hike. Well she took that hike, and upon her return became attuned to the knowledge that all was well. She had stopped what she was doing, had gotten out of that place of discomfort, and had gone in to that spiritual place of all is well. Lisa had spiritually prepared herself to go back from whence she came, in a far better condition than when she left. What was so amazing about the hike was that after her return, she realized that she had not actually taken a hike. She was still in her room and had simply gone to that spiritual place located inside herself.

You ain't got to go to Rome or anywhere else to get to that spiritual spot, because it's within. Some of us have already been there and can assure you that it's everywhere present. All that's needed is to go to a place where you can feel connected, where you can go in and communicate in a way that is comfortable for you, and where you can come out refreshed, renewed and ready for the world. We have all heard the truth at various points in our lives. Some of us have read and studied interpretations of it for years, and continue to do so as time goes by. All I'm saying is that we don't have to limit ourselves to someone else's perspective of what the truth is. We should make concerted efforts to feel it for ourselves, cause it's only then that we'll be truly able to live it.  If things ain't as you think they should be just STOP. Leave that pity party and get OUT of the funk you're in. Go to the woods, to the beach, to a quiet room in your house, or any place where you can go IN. The Presence is there and even if you don't feel it like you'd like to, even if it don't take you where you'd like to go;  just know that even though things ain't all that they could be, they are certainly better than they were. Right now, for whatever reason, you're right where you're supposed to be and as long as you keep it moving things are definitely gonna get greater later...Believe That!

To hear the audio version click here.  

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The Light Within: See It... Believe It....Be It

We are so often focused on acquiring things that exist outside of ourselves, that we lose faith in the fact that everything we will ever need or desire has its beginning on the inside. We need to first acknowledge that all things exist inside of us, and then we can make a concerted effort to let whatever is present inside come out. Once that happens our realization of and contribution to the universal law of abundance will increase exponentially. There is a biblical verse which come to mind that might shed more light on what it is that I'm trying to convey, and hopefully it will perpetuate our willingness to view life from the inside out.

The verse reads like this: "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." Well this may seem a bit abstract because we don't literally see the light inside, and most of the time we don't even consider the fact that it exists. However; it is this very light, and our willingness to share it, that is the basis for supplying all our needs and making manifest our every desire. The first step is of course to believe that this inner light exists, and then to see how that belief has been created on the inside and can be made manifest on the outside.

There's also a book entitled 'Princess Javonne  A Story of Overcoming Obstacles',* which I feel  addresses how we can uncover the light that illuminates both our seeing and believing. In the book we find three obstacles that prevent the main character, Princess Javonne, from reaching the elusive 'Palace of Possibilities'. These obstacles are: 'The River of Fear', 'The Mountain of Doubt', and The Wall of Worry, and they are the very same obstacles that blur our dreams and desires and cause us to doubt our ability to achieve them. Now although this is a childrens' book, I recommend that all of you get a copy of it for your child or yourself. By reading it you will allow Princess Javonne to share her journey toward understanding that we can only see what we believe to be true, and that the key to our belief is becoming aware of the endless possibilities and dissolving the barriers that stand in the way of our  realizing our dreams and achieving our goals. 

                             *Go to: www.princessjavonne.com  for book copies information.

We all have a light that exists inside, and our ability and conviction to allow it to shine, both inside and out, is predicated on seeing that light and being compelled to use it to brighten the lives of others. There are many ways in which we can make that happen. We can say hello to a stranger, write a letter to a friend, or read a passage from a book to a loved one and feel the mutual joy that unfolds. We can hug our child for no reason, give a dollar to someone who asks us and not judge how they might spend it, or pick up and discard something we didn't drop, and actually feel how the universe responds with joy and thanksgiving. We can walk with a friend to a mutual destination or stop in the middle of doing something to thank God for always providing us with more than enough, and then be a witness to the brightness that ensues as a result. We can even write a movie script, choreograph a dance, or sing a song in a crowded elevator, and know that an illumination, in some form or fashion, is about to occur. Whatever creative act we can imagine we can make manifest. All we need to start is doing the simple stuff and begin realizing that what we thought was impossible is really simpler to achieve than we could have ever imagined. 

We are the light of the world ya'll. Let's see it...believe it...be it, and then prepare ourselves for the bountiful blessings to come.

I want to thank Javonne for allowing me to share her light,  I want to thank each of you for seeking the light inside, and I implore all of us to stay encouraged knowing that all good things will come to pass because of the Grace of God and because of our efforts to make it so.



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Doing The Right Thing

It seems that too many of us here in America don't purpose in our hearts to take action, we wait until something happens and then we react. When we used to hear the so-called conspiracy theorists talk about how just a few people controlled the majority of the wealth of the entire planet, we took it all in with a grain of salt. Now that the toppling of the housing industry, the deterioration of our educational system, and the apparent racism in the political arena is being talked about by mainstream media, we're looking a little closer at what's really going on. We're starting to question where all the money associated with housing, schools, and political campaigns is actually going. We're beginning to believe that the government, as we know it, is not responding to our needs as it should; and possibly adhering to the desires of a small group of people whose names we don't even know. But then we still recognize and fear the power and control the government has over us, and we want to wait until we're sure they'll be no repercussions before we start openly complaining. We then start to wonder how these  so-called conspiracy theorists are blatantly talking about how wars, environmental problems, and food modification, are all being perpetrated by the powerful few for personal monetary gain. The stuff they're saying is believable and the powerful few must know that we're starting to accept its validity, so why aren't they doing something to prove these theorists wrong? Well, why should they? We are a crisis-oriented people and unless something happens directly to us, we just allow things to unfold as they do. We are dangerously complacent, and have become perfectly willing to allow others to fight our seemingly hopeless battles for us. The problem however, is that all negativity is being done at our expense, and at the possible disintegration of a viable future for our children and our children's children.

We need to start being less reactive and more proactive. How can we do that? While visiting my mother in Chicago this past week, I decided to empty all her garbage bags as I usually do. This time however, she was really adamant about the separation of 'garbage' and 'recyclables'. Now I pride myself on being a non-conformist to ideals that are not being carried out by their protagonist, that being the City of Chicago in this case. I for one, find it hard to believe that my beloved hometown is participating in an effort to 'save the planet', unless there's some tangible gratuity involved. I am just a firm believer that most Chicago politicians are more concerned about personal gain than the welfare of their constituents, and am thereby hesitant in supporting any of their agendas. I didn't verbalize these thoughts at the time, but my mother, who would be one of the few honest politicians if she were one, went right for the jugular in her attempt to secure my vote. She said, "You're writing that blog and always talking about the 'we' , yet you don't think it's a we thing when people are trying to do something positive? You talk about people talking the talk and not walking the walk. Are you one of those people?" Well it was getting kind of painful for me, and she was just getting started; so I succumbed and transferred all the items to their respective (proper) bag(s), and placed them all outside in their corresponding receptacles. I initially just reacted to my mother's plea; but, as an afterthought, have decided to actively adhere to the recycling procedures here in California. This is just my one small example of proactive behavior, and yet there are so many other ways in which we can demonstrate this same mindset.

We can stop eating in at least one restaurant where the food tastes good, but we know that it is not good for us.  We can buy only the eggs produced by free-roaming chickens. We can try to stop smoking and/or drinking at least one day a week. We can park our car further from the entrance of the mall, and stop emitting so many fumes trying to find a space closer to the door. Even better we can take public transportation at least once a month. We can spend some of our money in the 'mom and pop stores', rather than giving all of it to the big corporations. We are all creative beings, so just think of  something you can do to address the issues that you are aware of. Something's going on in the world that's not in everybody's best interest, and you know you don't like it. So even if you feel you can't do anything about that particular thing, do something positive in another arena, while realizing that every little bit helps. The 'we' is a very powerful entity ya'll, and if each one of us does her or his part, no matter how small it might seem, in the words of my friend Kenny Bean,.. "Righteousness shall prevail."

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Beginning Of The Best

I once heard that if you're in a room of  people, one of them tells a lie and you don't say anything, then you're lying as well.  I also heard a relative of mine claim, "I say what I got to say and then I leave it alone." To put these statements in perspective, let me just say that too many people get away with saying and doing too many distasteful and sometimes despicable things, and too few people make an effort to hold them accountable. There are a lot of man-made laws that promote order and decency, but somehow we allow certain individuals to remain 'above these law'. There is one Universal Law and it proclaims that we are all one. What that means is that whatever you do to me you are also doing to yourself. So by us making others aware of their errant behavior, all of us will benefit.

This past election brings the gist of this discourse into focus, because it demonstrated that we voters have let the politicians and backers know that their conduct is no longer void of  consequences. We have once again begun to, and will continue to hold them accountable for their behavior. You, Mr. Mourdock, say that pregnancy induced by rape is a gift from God? Okay, now you will have to consider if your loss in the Senate race is also a gift from God. Mr. Romney, you gave us  a general and very vague account of what you would do if elected president, and refused to give us any details in regard to how your actions would be carried out. Well, our votes have let you know that we are not going to sit idly by and allow you to continue insulting our intelligence. Politicians beware. We are tired of voting for the lesser of two evils. We have for too long, in the words of Brother Malcolm, been hoodwinked, bamboozled, and led astray. There is too much at stake, and as Mary J. Blige implies in her music, 'we can do bad all by ourselves'. So if you're going to bring it..it better be correct, or be prepared to pay the price for it not being that way.

What we need to do now is to bring this same mindset into our every day lives. We can no longer allow our children to talk to us any kind of way, and not let them know that the tone and content of their conversation is unacceptable. No longer will we be complacent when our educators, from the teachers in the classroom to the United States Secretary of Education, tell us that there's nothing else they can do for our child. We're going to  find out, undertake, and implement whatever's necessary to insure that our children get a better education before our military gets more weapons. Continuing to allow gas prices to fluctuate as randomly as they do is a no no. So the next time the cost of gas increases exponentially, and we get a credible online plea to boycott a specific gas distributor, we will seriously consider doing just that. And if anyone, from a menial to managerial position, whether on the phone or face to face, talks to us in a less than respectful way, then that matter will be addressed immediately so that the outcome of that and subsequent discussions is favorable to all. Everything we've spoken of thus far will of course be done tactfully and with good intent, but it must and will be done because our collective well-being is at stake.

I want to personally thank each of you for getting out to vote, and I implore you to remember and understand that our struggle is ongoing. Let's keep it real ya'll by holding all those who claim to have our best interest at heart, acccountable for acting with honesty and integrity. The message has already been sent through this election, so let's keep it moving. More than that, let's be encouraged always by keeping in mind that as long as we treat ourselves and each other as one...The Best Is Yet To Come.

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