Why do we really want to help others? If we're honest about it we'll admit that one reason is because helping others makes us feel good about ourselves. Unless of course they don't appreciate what we've done. Then we have issues with ourselves for helping them, and issues with them for not thanking us enough. Ever give a homeless person two dollars and he didn't seem as grateful as the guy you gave a quarter to the day before? Ever give your significant other a gift and even though they didn't say it, they looked at you as if to say, "That's It, that's the best you could do?" What about your children? You feed em, clothe em, put a roof over their heads and they want to know why you can't buy them a new car to go to the new college that you'll be paying for for the rest of your life. Don't even mention the friend that owes you twenty dollars. They're wearing a new pair of shoes, slicker than the ones you got on, and got the nerve to say they can't pay you right now cause the mortgage is due on the new house they just bought. Think about it though. Was our motive entirely about helping somebody, or was some of it about feeling good about our being able to do so, and then being recognized by others as a person of value.
I was just thinking about cutting out the middle man. Later for helping somebody else so I can feel good about me, I'll start doing stuff for myself and then be totally joyous and grateful for what I've done. I'll start out by getting up in the morning, looking in the mirror and giving myself some kind of compliment. I'll disregard my hair not being right, the bags under my eyes, or that new zit or wrinkle. Instead I'll focus on those cute little ears and how they make both sides of my head look good. Then I'll take a shower while thanking God that my body still works well enough to get me back and forth to where I'm going. I'll then put on the dopest outfit in my closest, just cause I feel like it, and follow up with a nutritious meal that gives me enough energy to make it to the next meal. After that I'm going to work, to school, or wherever I want to go and do the best I can to make whatever I do the best that I've ever done. Then, before going home, I'm going to take them last two or twenty dollars and buy me something that I ain't had in a long, long time. No matter how well any or all of this works out, I'm gonna to be grateful for what I've done on this day. I'm gonna feel good about me without needing validation from anybody else.
Focusing more on self sounds okay, yet even though there's no arrogance or ill will intended, it still seems to be selfish and self-centered. Ain't that ironic? We try to help others and wind up feeling inadequate and/or unappreciated. Then we do something for self and have a hard time not feeling inconsiderate and self-serving. Face it ya'll. We really don't view life in terms of what we do, we view it from the perspective of how what we do is responded to. There's no way in the world we can make others love us or feel good about themselves, because in the final analysis it's all about us and how we feel anyway. So let's either stop doing for others or stop being concerned with how what we've done is received. Let's start looking closer at what we're doing so we can start feeling better about what we've done. We might think that there's nothing we can do to actually make the world a better place, but in feeling good about what we've done our attitude, about how we view the world, can change. Let's be less concerned with how we're seen and focus more on how we see ourselves. Let's all be who we want others to see; and the whole world will change for the better as a result of it.
To hear the audio version of 'Changing Self Helps Others' click Here.
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