Real Women, What Ya'll Gon Do?

For those of you who know me and how I roll, this blog should come as no surprise. I wrote a blog week before last entitled 'Real Men, Where Ya'll At'? Being true to who I am, this is the sequel...'Real Women, What Ya'll Gon Do'?

Genesis 2:18 in the King James version of the Bible reads, 'And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him'. For me that statement implies that a real man cannot be of maximum benefit to others by himself. He needs a real woman who can meet them where he is. Not where she thinks he should be, or where she feels he's capable of being, but exactly where he is.

You see, most of us men are initially and primarily drawn to a woman by her physical attributes. Most women look at us from the perspective of what they feel we are capable of becoming. Not to say, in  either case, that other components don't factor in, but to point out that we approach our potential mate from different perspectives. Neither manner should be considered right or wrong. However ladies, if we're to 'meet' on common ground, you must take how we roll into consideration before expecting more from us than we’re capable of delivering. 

Now once  a woman sees a prospective mate, sizes him up, and makes a decision as to whether or not she willing to give him a chance, all this in a matter of seconds, the real challenge comes when she or the brother makes the move. In order for her to meet him where he's at, she must understand that to bat her eyes, hike her skirt, or put a little more wiggle in her walk is no longer necessary because he's already been enticed by her appearance. The key now is to allow her modesty to take charge, which does not mean playing hard to get but enabling him to see that not just anybody can get with her.

Later on, after some discretionary dating and some meaningful conversations, both of you are at a place where  things are getting serious. You haven't met the momma yet, but you're not sweating him, because you understand that he just ain't ready right now. You, as a woman, intuitively feel that the time is right. However, we men want to be sure that our willingness to commit is in conjunction with our mother believing that you're the one we should be committed to. Should we be so concerned with how our mother sees you? Maybe not, but after spending our childhood years with the woman who demonstrated an “I'm in charge because I know more about life than you do” attitude, we want to be able to prove to that woman (our mother) that we're right this time, so we don't want to make our move too soon.

So now, months later, the two of you have become an 'item', and a potentially life long commitment is on the horizon. The precarious question "Who you with?" needs an answer. If you've proactively researched and responded to his behavior, you should know now whether or not you're with a 'real man'. You should always keep in mind however, that what he does from time to time might not reflect that 'real man' status. His overall character might not transform, but at times your initial  concept of his potential might be substantially altered. Don't be alarmed however, because change is the only constant that exists. It's going to occur in him and in you, no matter what. So remain aware that your future happiness is contingent on how well you both adjust to the changes that will inevitably come about.

Being a 'real woman', you've already set the parameters for yourself that are conducive to  your mutual growth. You're still going to remain the modest and understanding woman he met for the very first time. You've committed to meeting him where he is, no matter where that might be, and you're humble and courageous enough to accept that what ever occurs between the two of you is not a matter of right or wrong, it's an opportunity to reassess who you both have become, and an opportune time for the reaching of a consensus on "Where do we go from here"? Always remember that being real mandates rigorous honesty, and if meeting him where he is, is not where you're willing to stay...let him know that, and give him ample time to change before you make a decision to go elsewhere.

Being real ain't easy, but it's simple. We complicate it by trying to please somebody else, in the hopes of making them all that we know they can be. That’s working from  a position of expectations that might not be met ya'll, and the more than likely result will be a big mess. Just do your best to be you, allow him the opportunity to be the best that he can be right now, and be willing to lend a hand when he falls short. The 'real men' are here somewhere 'real women'...what ya'll gon do when you either find them or realize you already have?

I'll holla... 

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KNOWING PEACE

About 10 years ago I saw the caption 'No God...No Peace on the front of a tee shirt , and 'Know God...Know Peace' on the back. This past Saturday I was invited to the 'Peace Summit of the Americas', held at a community center in Carson, CA, and sponsored by The Heavenly Culture, World Peace, Restoration of Light. A Korean War veteran  and religious leader, Mr. Man-hee Lee, founded the organization in 2009, in the hopes of uniting the people of the world, in spite of their differences, for the purpose of establishing planetary peace.

At the summit, Mr. Lee, through an interpreter, asserted that wars are caused by religious differences, and proposed that religious leaders come together to reread and reassess  their respective scriptures, then find and focus on the common thread that exists in them all, rather than the differences that bring about denominational conflicts. Because of the difficulty inherent in translating words verbatim from one language to another, I'm not going to discuss whether or not wars are caused by religious differences, but I will say that religions are used to justify them. In terms of religious leaders coming together, I totally agree and am grateful to have been given the opportunity to be a part of that first discussion to be held at a later date.. 

Getting back to the captions 'No God...No Peace /Know God...Know Peace', I must say that no truer words have ever been spoken in regard to our quest for harmony.  I also assert that God and Peace are one, and that their quest begins and subsists from within. We must first know God, not from someone else's interpretation, but from the one on one interaction we have with the ONE SUPREME BEING we choose to call______. Once we develop and live to maintain that relationship, peace is inevitable. From time to time we might lose our peace of mind, or that peaceful interaction we've had with others, but as long as we can re-establish our connection with the ONE... it's all good. Knowing however,  is not predicated on saying we know, it's based on and sustained by living like we do.

Christian ministers, Jewish rabbis, Islamic Imams and all manner of clergy must practice what we preach. If world peace is to become a reality, we cannot justify preaching from a 30 million dollar edifice, when we are not adamantly pursuing employment for our jobless parishioners. or not seeking equitable living conditions for inhabitants of the third world countries that Christian missionaries promised would experience peace on earth and good will toward men. We cannot condone supporting an Israeli government that is still doing to the Palestinians in Israel what second generation Americans did, and are still doing, to the native Americans in this country. There is no way we can accept that the Islamic belief in complete submission to God is being practiced, when the age-old atrocity of slave trading still exists among some who claim to be muslim. No matter what our denomination, we can claim to know God, but if we're not living like we know the One Who created us all, then we're only participating in a demonstration of the adage 'No God...no Peace'. 

What we gon do? In every war ever staged, the majority of the soldiers were the youth. Back in the day the leaders fought alongside them, but today they lead from secretive and secure 'war rooms' located as far away from the conflict as possible. I say we participate in this quest for harmonic co-existence from the participatory perspective of..."I'm not going to just tell you how it's done, I'm going to show you." We can start by not allowing our own material assets to outweigh our spiritual condition. We can then refuse to gauge the merit of someone's message by the number of people who listen and adhere to it, rather than by how we have personally questioned  the God of our understanding as to their validity, and heard the response 'That is my child, in whom I am well pleased". 

None of us is perfect, but we will 'Know Peace' when we are honestly seeking progress from the process of trying to 'Know God'. Each of us has got to go inside ya'll. We can only find peace in that place where 'GOD IS'...and then...and only then can we share that peace unconditionally. Not only with ourselves mind you, but with all with whom we come in contact. 

I'll holla...

To comment or respond please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com

Real Men...Where Ya'll At

He's my rock!! My superman (after God of course) He loves me unconditionally even when I don't deserve it...

By: LaToya Flowers-Simps

It's been a minute that I've been intending to write something of this nature, and I just want to thank LaToya and Ricky (cited caption) for providing an example of what I want to talk about. My congrats to those of us like Ricky, who are serious about being 'real men', and are not necessarily trying to act in the way that we think other people say we should. Our every day struggle to be real is influenced by the mores and values of a society that depicts manhood as a hard, independent, no-nonsense state of being. For too long we have been afraid to display our emotions, admit our shortcomings, or give in to what we see as the demands of our significant other. And now, with the advent of an acceptable open gender society, we certainly don't want 'ot seem 'gay'. So strive we must, it seems, to be the man who might not be real, but is nevertheless the man we believe others want us to be.

What, you might ask, is a real man. We'll let's start with what he is not. A real man is not fearful of being 'found out', because most of his time is spent being honest with those around him, and especially with himself . He is not concerned with how others see him, because he is too busy trying to improve by giving more and expecting less. He is not displaying the fabricated images of who he wants us to think he can be, but he's sharing his gifts with us so that we will know exactly who he is. A real man is not dressing and finessing for the express intent of pleasing others, he's doing it because that's how he rolls.

What a real man is consists of responsibility and accountability, compassion and empathy. These traits are not predicated on what he's supposed to do, but are driven by the LOVE he has for others.
He takes care of his children because he wants to and not because his baby's momma is 'sweatin' him to do so. He discusses with rather than hollas at his significant other, because he cherishes her input and support, and is not overly concerned with her submission. A real man wants his loved ones to know where he's going, so they don't have to be shocked when learning from another where's he's been. He cares about how others feel, and thereby directs his conversations and actions from the perspective of treating another in the way he would like to be treated. A real man does what he does without expectations because as LaToya asserts about her man..."He loves me unconditionally...even when I don't deserve it."

Is it easy being a 'real man'? 'Hell to the naw'. You see when we interact with others we have to deal with their issues, in addition to our own, and all at the same time. Then we are so prone to living from the bogus whims of outside influences, and the incessant whimpering of a damaged ego, that we sometimes we start acting like emotionally charged children rather than God-Inspired men. Our conceptions of what a man is did not start when we reached 21, but began with our first exposure to misconstrued information and societal propaganda. A 12 year old male once asked me if I had ever killed a man. When I inquired as to why, he said with conviction..."Cause you ain't a real man until you do." He'd never heard the real definition of manhood ya'll, and he lived in a media-charged society that promoted and glamorized violence. It's hard being a real man when all you have to work with is false information appearing real, but it's definitely doable if we have genuine examples at our disposal. It is my contention that we must become real, if we aren't already, because our future depends on showing our progeny what it looks like.

There's a basic formula for acquiring and maintaining this 'real man' status, and it's simply doing our best to remain strong and sensitive. Be strong in your conviction to be real, by simply being sensitive and responsive to the needs of those around you. That's it that's all ya'll... and Ricky and myself welcome you to the club of those who are giving it our best shot.

I'll holla...

To comment or respond please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com

Ferguson Missouri and Keepin Em Separated, U.S.A.

The outcome of the trial in Ferguson points out that we're still prone to reacting and are still not taking a proactive stance in addressing the inequity and disparity that continues to plague our collective well-being. In response to the anticipated reaction of the Ferguson residents, President Obama has expressed that they not throw bottles and smash car windows in retaliation to what some have deemed as an unfair verdict. My question is...Why not and/or what else can we do?

Everybody is responding in a way that is indicative of how they feel, and in most cases these feelings are race related. From Travon Martin, to OJ Simpson, and all the way back to the Emmett Till travesty, our judicial system concentrated on the racial aspect of  its findings and we responded to the outcome of those trials from an ethnic frame of reference. We are reacting to what comes across as a white vs black state of affairs, but what is really a world wide capitalistic endeavor to maintain the status quo. We should be formulating a means for correcting the economic disparity that is produced, promoted, and maintained by this money/power hungry faction, but instead our feelings are hurt and we are seeking recompense for the anxiety and stress we have experienced as a result of being involved, sometimes vicariously, in these seemingly race-based scenarios.

It's said that power corrupts, but even a semblance of power can destroy. The only real power is LOVE, and any power outside of that is a facade, facilitated by fear. We have given in to the illusionary power and succumbed to the underlying tactics of the so called powers that be, because we are reacting to the fear that stems from concepts that are not based on truth. The shared fear is one of not enough, and the dichotomous fears are on one side..."White folks don't want us to have nothing"... and on the other... "Black folks want to take what is ours." We thereby feed into and concentrate on this white vs black scenario, while unawaringly giving power to the entity that created it. The power of Love is thereby transmuted into a love for power fueled by the acquisition of more. We're focused on race and the ones we've given power to as a result, can concentrate on acquiring as much as they can as quickly as they can. The gradual eradication of righteousness, sadly enough, is the only inevitable outcome.

We must let the president know that we've heard his thoughts on what not to do, but we want answers to what he and our governmental representatives are going to do. We feel threatened and without power (LOVE), so what are ya'll administrative folk going to do with the power we've relinquished to you? We must all demonstrate our collective support, by communicating with each other and following through with an implementation of positive and proactive ideas into a collaborative reality. We must not allow our differences to override our commonality. We must stop looking at the small photograph depicting the fear of lack, and start observing and accepting, as real, the panoramic landscape of more than enough. Whatever is to be done, in order to be beneficial to all, must be done and accepted by all. That is the only way the Power (LOVE) can be shared by all the people, the result of which allows us to bask in its righteousness.

Idealistic as it may seem, keep in mind that we live in a world of limitless possibilities and we can still develop and implement a means for peaceful coexistence. As it stands, our only other choice is to continue to react and respond to situations that are designed to keep us apart. "What you gon do?"

I'll holla...

To comment or respond please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com

Don't Knock Nuthin Till After You've Checked It Out

My plan is to do everything I want to...at least once. I don't want to live life based on what I heard, I want to live it based on what I know. Having been married to Nicole, an incredible jazz musician, for the past three years, my affinity for music has risen to a new level. Along with the short one year stint as a radio personality, and a new found desire to explore every genre of music and mode of communication, I felt that there was no other choice for Nicole and myself but to check out Thundercat and Flying Lotus at the Wiltern Theater in LA this past Friday. This same mindset took us to the Dorothy Chandler Pavillion on Saturday to check out our first two operas, Dido and Aeneas and Bluebeard's Castle.

Stephen Bruner, who is better known by his stage name Thundercat, is an electric bass player who has reportedly been influenced by the two renown fusion artists Stanley Clarke and George Duke. Stephen provided samples of jazz, R&B, funk, electronic, and other genres in his performance, and although the volume and timbre of his presentations were a bit overwhelming for my supposedly half deaf behind, I marveled at the uniqueness and creativity of each and every selection.

Steven Ellison, of the stage name Flying Lotus, is a music producer, rapper, and electronic musician with a strong penchant for multi genre experimentation. There was a bit of excessiveness in terms of my comfortability with the flashing lights and incessant sounds, but the wizardly appearance of him behind a sheer three dimensional curtain, the amazing backdrop of perpetual video imagery, and the constant and varied influx of musical accompaniment gave uncontested credibility to his creative brilliance. 

The joint was packed ya'll, and the participatory response, of the dominant 20 to 35 aged- old audience, reminded me of my avid appreciation for the Jimi Hendrix, and Funkadelic concerts I attended back in the day. I'm certainly glad I went to see Thundercat and Flying Lotus, because I now know first hand that some of our young artists are still working to preserve, cultivate and proliferate the innovative creativity that has made all types of music available to us, and has allowed countless artists to both find their place in the sun and to remain in our hearts. I'll just have to remember, if I go to another concert of that sort, to bring some ear plugs and dark glasses.

As for the first operatic offering entitled 'Dido and Aeneas' on Saturday, the program guide touted the simplicity of the stage setting. I was not convinced however, that economic restraints did not play a major role in limiting the props to a white park bench that spanned the width of the stage. The movement and vocal renditions of the twenty six performers, confined to this single bleacher, left me feeling a bit deprived in relation to the glamorous hoopla that I had expected, but their obvious exuberance along with my willingness to fully grasp the overall artistic intent, gave me a sense of having acquired a bit of insight, into the complexities that accompany transforming a story into operatic form.

The second presentation, entitled Bluebeard's Castle, was a bit more restrained because the only setting was the stage itself, and albeit very large and very white, along with a revolving trajectory, I could not comfortably grasp why there were a total of eight performers and only two of them contributed an audible rendition of the music being played. Not wanting to be undaunted, I was grateful that my appreciation for their concerted efforts overrode my expectations for a visual and vocal extravaganza. Let me point out however, that the orchestra was totally on point and poppin throughout both operas. So much so that I leaned forward a few times, to see who was playing the tuba, oboe, or any other instruments whose resounding tones both sparked my interest and captured my attention

As was the case in Friday's musical performances, the Saturday audience's appreciative exuberance, demonstrated by their resounding applause, let me know that opera is here to stay.The fact that the majority of patrons were between 40 and 70 years of age, and the same color as the stage, left me wondering if this mode of entertainment was limited to a select group of people, and if perhaps my cultural and/or aesthetic make up hindered me from seeing what everyone else saw. Nonetheless, the experience left me with a satisfactory sense of 'been there ...done that', and the understanding that I should read the reviews or talk to someone who knows the details of a particular performance, before I attend another opera.

We say we don't don't go to certain places or do certain things because we don't have the time or the money. We say we don't like certain people or things because we don't like the way they look. I agree with the adage that "There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation", and I implore all of you do try looking at stuff the way me and Nicole did this past weekend ..."Do whatever it is, within reason, that you want to do, and don't knock nuthin till after you've checked it out". 

I'll holla... 


To comment or respond please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com

I STILL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM

In 1986,  after having shot dope for 18 years, I started eating Haagen Dazs ice cream almost every night until 2007, when I was informed that dairy products highly contributed to the mucous build up and ensuing colds that were occurring in my life, on a regular basis. Not realizing that the sugar content was also a major threat to my well being, I switched to a soy-based frozen dessert. Then I saw a documentary addressing the Monsanto monopoly on genetically modified soy beans, and substituted the soy variety for an almond-based product. In the meantime I had developed a chronic itching, the cause of which was not ascertained until I was diagnosed with cancer in January of this year, i.e. 2014. Mind you my figurative screaming for a frosty dessert every night was still strong, but I abstained from this frozen frenzy until my chemo treatments ended this past May. Since then I've indulged in a coconut based frozen dessert, probably about twice a month, and as I sit here having finished a pint of Almond Mocha Fudge...I'm feeling no remorse simply reflecting on the realization that I have an addictive behavior which stems from a fervent desire to feel good. What's ironic about all of this, is that I'm experiencing a significant degree of pleasure by sharing my situation with you.

I don't know what you do to feel good, and only you can determine if you do too much of it, but of one thing I am sure...moderation is the key for me when it comes to balancing the amount of pleasure I can experience without risking the onset of subsequential pain. There are many avenues available for meetng our desires to feel good, and food, sex, television,  the internet, alcohol, significant others, religion, exercise, money, school, jobs, cigarettes,  drugs (legal and otherwise), gambling, shopping for clothes, people pleasing, and acquiring attention  and fame, are just a few.  They are all potentially addictive pursuits however, that can ultimately lead us to possibly precarious positions. An overconsumption of heroin and sugar has significantly altered my physical condition, and has had a yet undocumented bearing on my mental and spiritual well- being. There are also a number of other addictive possibilities that I have indulged in, and that are still calling for my attention. I am aware however, that half the struggle in abstaining from, or moderating my participation in what I do, is the unconditional acceptance of my being prone to over-doing it.

Life is a wonderfully enlightening experience, and the understanding that we can take a disheartening situation, and alter it into a beneficial opportunity, is part and parcel of what makes the world go round. Constantly reminding ourselves that we can take life's lemons and make lemonade, will enhance our capabilities for turning the bitter into the sweet. It goes without saying that we have all over indulged in one thing or another, and that we continue to do so on a regular basis. It's also quite obvious that many of us know we are about to involve ourselves in something that is going to cause us harm, yet we do it anyway. Comments like..."Yea, I know I'm diabetic..but", or "My blood pressure ain't that high today...so", or "My money's funny but... ", or even "They're haters and just don't want me to..." These are all feeble attempts to justify doing what we know is going to cause us harm, and all the time we are aware that the end result is going to be accompanied by intense feelings of guilt and remorse. The upside however, is that we can objectively share our problematic outcomes with someone else, ask them how they address similar situations, and collaboratively devise a means for altering or moderating our behavior.

I've overdosed on heroin a few times and by the Grace of God, I'm still here. I've inadvertently abused my mind and body through other means, and have consequently been told that I had a maximum of six months to live if I didn't get a minimum of six chemotherapy treatments. I was then told, after having not received the sixth treatment, that I could have died had I done so. God's Grace has kept me here, and it is by this same Grace that I am able to channel some of my addictive behavior into hosting a radio show and writing these blogs for you. Granted, I'm still doing stuff that isn't always in my best interest, but the more I focus on doing stuff for others, the better I feel about me. The pleasure I selfishly sought for myself, is exponentially intensified by seeking it for someone else. That's where I am right now ya'll..still screaming but not so loud.

I'll holla...

To comment or respond please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com

RIGHT OR RIGHTEOUS...THAT'S THE QUESTION

“ I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” I want to thank Lois 'Tootie' Brown for exposing me to the foregoing statement. The very act of her doing so speaks volumes for the importance of hearing everything that's said, and storing it on the shelf if you don't comprehend it at the time. It was about 40 years ago that I read the foregoing statement, on a relatively large, formica cube, ironically located in Mrs. Brown's home on a kitchen shelf , and because I didn't understand it at the time, I shelved it. I just took it down the other day, to plead my case for the paramount importance of truly understanding one another.

In our conversations with each other, we spend such an unwarranted amount of time trying to be 'right', that we don't always get the true gist of what the other person is trying to convey. We so urgently desire for what we're talking about to be understood, that while the other person is speakng we're thinking about what we're going to say next to validate and substantiate what we've already said. Subsequently, our primary objective becomes less about collaborative comprehension, and more about an individualistic pursuit of conversational conquests. 

True understanding comes from 'feeling' rather than 'thinking'. It is by doing so that we are able to gain insight into what is being said, because we have vicariously become the person who's saying it. Where has this person been, where is he/she going, and how can I relate my own life experiences to where this particular individual is right now. These are the sensibilities we have begun to focus on, and have thereby allowed the concepts of empathy, compassion, and genuine concern to become the objectives that are an integral part of our interactions. Then and only then can the question "...Ya feel me?"  be answered in the affirmative.

It's not necessary for us to disregard and forego all of our own thoughts and remarks to listen to another, but the communicative process would be greatly enhanced if our unbiased unconditional attention were given to the person doing the talking. Universal law is based on the premise that we get back what we put out, and we can rest assured that the consideration we give to another, shall be returned to us when it comes time to convey our own  concepts and comments.

That's where I am right now ya'll, working more on righteous understanding and less on being rightly understood. The hope that the things I say are being comprehended is still of major importance, however I want to be able to walk away from every conversation feeling that what I heard the other person say is truly what they meant. You see being right is not nearly as important as being decent and upright, because when you're demonstrating those two attributes of true righteousness... everybody wins. 

You understand what I'm saying? If not, please put it on the shelf for later on.

I'll Holla...


To comment or respond please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com

I Ain't Skurred

Everybody has their own idea(s) about the discomforting conditions that exist in our world, and I’m sure that we’ve all given some thought as to how we’re going to deal with these circumstances in our own personal environments. For instance, if you’re a member,or trying  to be one of the so called 1%, that being the people who reportedly possess/control 99% of the world’s wealth, then you don’t think too much is enough, and spend most of your time and energy in attempts to gain all you can, however you can, and as quickly as you can. On the other hand, if you have already decided that you won’t ever be in that group, or anywhere close to it, your efforts are expended in determining how you’re going to do the best you can with what you have. Then there are those who have looked beyond that economic paradigm of the haves and have nots, and have determined that happiness and contentment is not contingent on what and how much you possess, but on maintaining your integrity and upholding your moral/spiritual condition. How we cope with the global conditions of disease, poverty and the rampant inequity that exists, may be more about not merely responding to them, but knowing what precipitates their manifestation, and determining what we can do to prevent or manage the anticipated outcome.

This one man’s opinion is that fear is the underlying motivation for all of our negative responses to disheartening situations. It goes without saying that we are a world-wide, crisis oriented society, and that our dilemma stems from waiting for something to happen before creating a sufficient means of dealing with what already exists. You see those who seem to be in charge, have been designated as such by virtue of their hierarchal status, with the amount of wealth being the primary gauge for determining that ranking, They are fearful of losing whatever semblance of power they do have, and they respond to that fear by imposing laws and creating circumstances that will protect their possessions and, at the same time, fortify and substantiate their control. We, the people, respond to these laws and circumstances by becoming fearful of the yet undetermined repercussions that we think stem from our not having enough wealth and power, and of possibly losing what little bit we already have. We then begin to focus more and more on creating a means of protecting what we already have from both those, like the government, who we feel already has enough, and from those, less fortunate than ourselves, who we perceive as a threat to what we possess and a hinderance to our acquisition of more. What we have here ya’ll is a fear filled hot mess.

Herein lies this one man’s solution. Believe in the adage that  “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Let’s join the cadre of those focused on righteousness. I’m not talking about right and wrong because that’s relative and depends on whose calling the shots. I’m talking about treating others, all others, like you want to be treated…that’s universal decency. Don’t be afraid of those you think have too much money and power, because they’re afraid of you. Their illusion of power is predicated on the fear that they have consciously and inadvertently passed on to you. They say they’re doing the right thing, which makes you wrong. You say they’re wrong in doing what they do, which makes you right, yet you’re both doing what you do out of fear, all of which constitutes a fear of being righteous. 

In reference to the principles of yin(passive) and yang(active), true balance can only come when two opposites come together. After all, who knows the possibilities that can arise as a result of two different mindsets operating in the same place at the same time, in spite of the antagonisms that may crop up. We must allow those who have passively accepted the concept of not enough, and can only operate from a realm of fear, to continue to protect themselves from situations that tend to frighten them. The rest of us, who have accepted the universal principle of more than enough, must become proactive in our attempts to create equitable opportunities for all, through the simple process of each one teaching one.  Holding on to what you think is yours on the one hand, and the giving of what you have on the other, is contrasting by nature, but those of us who can, must develop a mindset of not necessarily condoning, but humbly accepting another’s secular way of dealing with stuff, cause we can't change how they think anyway. However, if we work honestly and with righteous intent on perfecting our own spiritual path...change is inevitable.

So we definitely need to do it our way, while patiently accepting each other’s ways, because then and only then can we lose the fear of...THE WAY... which is the universal collaboration and connection of us all.

I’ll holla...


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ROYAUMONT RE-ENVISIONED

The story is that the Royaumont Abbey was built between 1228 and 1235 with the support of Saint Louis (King Lousi IX of France), and occupied by Cistercian monks. It was transformed into a cotton mill in 1791 and a novicate for nuns in 1869. In the early 1900's it was acquired by the Gouin family who set it up as a cultural center, and in 1964 Henry and Isabel Gouin created the Royaumont Foundation, the first private French cultural foundation.

This is where I have resided for the past 7 days, and as I sit here in our room, among the remnants of an almost 800 year old edifice, I can't help but feel the overall spirit of a transitory cultural experiences. There were the monks who theorized and contemplated, in silent meditative states, on theological treatises and their effects on themselves and on the kings and residents of the surrounding countryside. Then there was the spirits of the owner and workers in the subsequential cotton mill, who shared residency albeit it in different areas of the cloister of trees, shrubbery, and streams that surrounded their places of residency. There also remains the spirit of the nuns and their humble attempts to restore their idea of the sanctity that was hopefully inherent in this once holy abode, and herein dwells also the aristocratic spirit of those whose seeming purpose, to maintain and display the aesthetics of a centuries old French culture, is nurtured and perpetated by the ambience of the artists, musicians, and intellectuals who come here to create, enjoy, and  then share the outcome of a time spent in this ethereal yet laborious setting of nature, architecture and conscientious creativity. Surprisingly I, as an artist, feel a real sense of belonging.

The irony of all of this is that I am but a guest of the real proponents of my reason for being here. The musicians, American and African, who descended upon this age-old architectural monument, were invited here to create a transatlantic collaboration through the venues of word and music. Three African musicians from the west African country of Mali, Babani Kone on vocals, Fassery Diabate on balafon, and musical director Ballake Sissoko on kora are present. Then there’s the Chicago based musicians of African American descent, Mankwe Ndosii on vocals, Jovia Armstrong on percussion, Felton Offard on guitar, composer Nicole Mitchell on flute, and the one Jewish American Joshua Abrams on bass who are also here.  All coming together, each world renown in their own realm, to exchange artistic ideas and collaborate on the Malian and American compositions of Ballake Sissoko and Nicole Mitchell, that they would practice 8 hours a day, for 6 days, to present to the French audience gathered for the grand performance that ensued inside the interior walls of this majestic complex known as the Royaumont abbey and foundation. What a venerable experience to be a witness to this grand display of cultural collaboration and musical magnificence.

Royaumont has probably, in its 779 plus years of existence, never experienced this coming together of three different cultures, Malian, Jewish, and African American, on stage, bringing to an unknown number of cultures in the attentive French audience, a sound and a message that says “Yes, together we can accomplish a feat of yet unheralded magnitude”, and  at the same time provide you the listener, with an incentive to do the same in your respective arenas. As members of the audience walked away singing in Bambara dialect, the passage of the last song which vocalist Babani Kone had invited and encouraged them to participate in, I knew that a precedent for cultural commonality and a spirit of cross-cultural honor and respect, had been established at this place we call Royaumont. Let’s all keep this newly established legacy movin ya’ll … inside and outside these venerated halls.

I'll holla…


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PARIS TOO?

Got an opportunity to leave the country of America again, and I'm real excited about having met and talked with Jamika Ajalon, who left St. Louis, Missouri years ago and moved to Chicago, to New York, across the ocean to London, and has now resided right here in Paris, France for the past 7 years.   My wife Nicole has known Jamika for many years, and although she and I have visited here over four times together, this was my first time meeting her friend Jamika face to face. My excitement stems from the fact that I finally got a chance to talk with someone, who lives in a foreign country, speaks my language and shares a common African-American experience.

Those of you who have followed my blogs may remember my writing about my first visit here and how I was taken aback yet not surprised at the fact that racial prejudice existed here as it does in America, as did the disdain that some African people here displayed toward this African American. There was no one here, at the time, that I could speak with who I felt could really understand my sensibilities, because in order to really understand another person's feelings, you had to have experienced them. Jamika provided me with that opportunity, and it was disheartening to hear yet somewhat fulfilling to recognize that my intuitive sense of racism, and its inherent ramifications, were echoed by her experience both here and in our common American homeland.

As the three of us, my wife, Jamika and myself reminisced and shared our experiences, the issue of race was dismissed yet not negated. We recalled how our individual experiences have prepared us for our common objective, that being to promote understanding, among diverse cultures, through words, the arts and music. We all feel that it is unwarranted ignorance that hinders love and understanding of others, and that sharing and unconditionally accepting our collective experiences, can and will bring about a change. That is not to say that we are looking to travel the world 'teaching' others how to think, but it does infer that our time will be dedicated to creating venues and providing opportunities for those who are willing to learn. Not just the three of us, but all of us are one, and being honest with that part of us we call 'self', being open minded while interacting with the so-called 'others', and being willing to change if need be is where we must go from here if life is to be aligned with the reason for our being created i.e. to equitably share our existence.

Man, what an ironic opportunity to know that racial disparity exists in other places and that, at the same time, people everywhere are seeking to expel its existence. Jamika promised that on our next visit she would introduce us to some of her Caucasian friends, who reside here in Paris and who also share our vision. Nicole, as we speak, is collaborating with musicians of the African persuasion who reside  here in Paris and in Africa as well, and we are all envisioning an all around friendship and looking forward to our traveling down a common pathway toward equity and freedom.

To all who are hearing, not listening but hearing, I implore you to make peace with yourself. Dispose of any and all presuppositions and false information that hinder you from knowing the truth about yourself and others. It's still a wonderful world out there, in spite of the problems that seem to incessantly crop up. Let's alter our attitude and see these problems as opportunities rather than difficulties, and do whatever we can, no matter how big or small it may seem, to make the best of these limitless and opportune circumstances. Why? Cause we can!!

I'll holla


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IS THEIR WATER REALLY WETTER?

I’m not at all comfortable with what I did this past Friday, yet totally understand the dynamics and anticipated ramifications inherent in my doing it. There was a church groundbreaking ceremony that I attended on that Friday morning, and it was held in the Grand Crossing neighborhood of Chicago. The event was ironically two blocks away from a drug and alcohol recovery house, located at 7730 S, Greenwood, that I co-owned and operated, from 1993 to 2000, and during that time Grand Crossing was an almost 100% Black neighborhood. Although gentrification of this particular area was not yet in full swing, there was a spattering of Caucasion residents here and there. What does all of this have to do with my discomfort? Well because of my awareness of the rampant drug traffiking and subsequent criminal activity that had taken place during that prescribed time, I was hesitant to park the rental car just anywhere. However, when I saw this white guy and his cat peering out of a window in the apartment across the street from this vacant parking space I had considered, I felt somewhat assured that I would be picking a safe location.

Some of you might feel that it was a valid decision I had made in parking where I did, and evidently I felt that way as well. However, I still feel that my decision only serves to point out how I am still somehow connected to an old adage common only to those of us of who years ago, from slavery to the civil rights movement, were a part of what was called the Negro persuasion. You see back then, we seemed to believe that…’The white man’s ice was colder and his water wetter.’ The irony of all of this is that still today there’s a great degree of validity in our way of thinking. Regardless of how we might try to cover it up, despite how folks of all races point to the so called progress and great strides that have taken place in race relations, and even though there’s a Black family in the white house, racial disparity still exists and we still find ourselves adjusting our actions to protect the limited semblances of liberty we do have. In essence, being on the ‘white side’ still seems to be the right side.

Why do I see things this way you ask? Well, from 2007 until 2010, I lived in a condo on 68th and Clyde, in the South Shore area of Chicago, and gentrification was quite obvious as demonstrated by the intense migration of white folks to an heretofore predominately black neighborhood. I’m not aware of the current situation, but during the summer of each of those three years, I was an eyewitness to the police paddy wagons that scoured the area every weekend, picking up blue jean and white tee shirt clad young black men, five to ten at a time, and loading them for transport to a criminal holding facility. Racial profiling was indeed the order of the day, and even though the city officials would have us believe that their intent was to rid the area of gangbangers, my take on what their true objective was and still is… is to make the area suitable and safe for white folks. You see, contrary to popular belief, wearing a certain attire is not proof of gang affiliation and/or involvement in criminal activity.

Let’s fast forward to this past Saturday night in the Hyde Park neighborhood, where security guards stood on just about every corner in the vicinity of the University of Chicago campus which spans over 100 square blocks. I envisioned this as I drove to a jazz concert taking place at 1414 East 59th street, and my findings were confirmed by both residents and students. The story is that there have been increased incidents of student assaults, and the need for better security was deemed mandatory. But come on, all the guards were black, the alleged perpetrators I’m sure were assumed to be black, but the University of Chicago is in the center of what used to be a largely black area and most of the black folks have been phased out of the inner city. The student demographics comprise 50% white, 20% Asian and 5% black and precludes that race has some bearing on this situation, and the fact that the average enrollment cost is over $60,000 a year further limits the chance that black folks will be moving back in and/or sending their children to this prestigious university. What’s really going on?

I actually used to think that white folks were smarter than black folk, and although I didn’t believe their water was wetter, I knew they had access to more stuff than those of us of a different persuasion. Today I’m well aware that both overt and covert racism still exists, and yet my aforementioned discomfort stems from having, at times, to make decisions along racial lines. It’s just not fair that black people, in every area I mentioned, were not the targeted recipients of the quality of living afforded to others. It’s also a shame that we are driven from our homes in areas that were once rife with crime and  decay, yet when we come back we look for the area where the residuals of the gentrification that moved us away is most prevalent. Where do we feel most safe… where the white folks are.

What we gon do ya’ll? Well we have to first look at ourselves, accept that things are not as they should be, and then perpetually ask ourselves "What can I do today to make it better?" I’m not just talking to black folk, I’m talking to all folks, cause if we don’t bust a move, it’s just a matter of time before somebody’s water is wetter because they’ll literally own all of it and everything else. And believe me, it won’t be because they’re white, it’ll be because we allowed it.

I’ll holla


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BECAUSE I CAN

Discomfort and pain are true motivators, but the real dilemma comes in making a decision on what to do about them. Some of us us try to resolve the issue by taking matters into our own hands, some of us seek professional help, and some of us, to the chagrin of others, just give up.

I've submitted to both taking matters into my own hands, and seeking professional help in dealing with the discomforting/painful issues that have come my way, because giving up is just not in my make-up. Self help programs, personal research, talking with like minded people, and having sessions with psychological, medical, metaphysical, alternative and  spiritual healing professionals have all played a major role in my recovery from my problematic 'stuff', and the 'Grace Of God' has always made a 'way out of no way' for resolving my predicament.

My mother taught aerobic classes starting at the age of fifty, and retired from that particular vocation, a few years ago, at the age of seventy nine. She has since been confronted with recurrent physical
pain and just last week decided to join a health club to help alleviate and control these bouts of discomfort. I talked to my 96 year old friend and my mother's former student Bea Lumpkin a few weeks ago, and she said that you have to fight the pain and therefore she works out at the YMCA four days a week. These two inspirational beings have reminded and convinced me that when it comes to alleviating physical pain I have options, and that giving up is not one of them.

There's also a mental and spiritual quandary of pain, and in my capacity as Spiritual Counselor, I've suggested to others to not focus on the physical manifestations of their discomfort. The fact that their troubled marrriage/relationship is keeping them up at night, or that their children's behavior is driving them to drink, or that they're seriously thinking about either quitting their job or doing something noxious to their boss,  are all corporal indications that there's a real problem stemming from within. Looking inside, and seeing what you can do to help yourself cope with whatever problem is challenging your well being is the solution I recommend. After all, everybody and everything causing us discomfort and pain is just doing what they do. You ask why do they do it. The answer is simple...because they can.

The entire universe is unfolding exactly as it should. Everything that happens to us happens because it can, and the remedy to dealing with whatever happens is understanding that there's a BLESSING in it somewhere, and that when discomfort occurs we just need to look past the pain and make a decision on how to go about obtaining the gift that awaits us beyond that realm. After al,l we all need motivation from time to time, and again, pain and discomfort have a way of bringing to our attention that right now, in the words of Bernie Mack, we need to 'bust a move'.

I, for the most part, do not even entertain the option of giving up but I do understand that at some point in all our lives we will inevitably make that decision. Nonetheless, those of us who choose to make that decision early on have that right, and those of us who choose to stay in the struggle have that right as well. One thing we must all understand though, is that whatever choice we make it's not always because we want to, it's not necessarily because we have to, but it's undoubtedly because we can. So I have a current mantra, that I'd like to suggest to you for coping with and alleviating pain and discomfort, and here it is..."I will overcome this situation...because, by the Grace Of God, I can..."

I'll holla...

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How About Right Now

Right now I'm sitting here writing this blog and evidently...right now...you're reading or listening to this blog. I'm smiling now, how about you? The reason I'm writing is to share my feelings with you, you're where you are because you want to know what Calvin has to say. You know what, regardless of what time it is or was for you, and for me, we're still on the same page...and something's happening for both of us right now.

What am I saying? No matter where we are or what we're doing, let's stay in the right now and be all right with where we are. I went to Las Vegas this past Saturday, and had reserved a room online the day before. Beautiful ad that boasted of the king size bed, free cable, free wi-fi, downtown location, and all for the low price of $67.92 per night including tax. Unbelievable price in reference to the beautiful pictorial, panoramic  views of the room and motel site, and I felt so blessed to find such a wonderful deal.

It was a wonderfully scenic four and a half hour drive, but being eager to see my friends John and Willa upon my arrival, I quickly checked in at the motel, and took a moment for a  quick glance around my room. It wasn't as spacious and alluring as the depictions I had seen online, but the bed was king size, and there was a television in place, so I just dropped off my bags, and headed out to the home of Willa and John. We had a real good time reminiscing on our 20 year plus relationship, we were all extremely overjoyed that both John and myself had almost simultaneously overcome life threatening illnesses, and I can still taste the wonderful meal we shared at 'Lucille's', while listening to some live 'down home' blues. The time came to head back to the motel though, and upon agreeing on a breakfast meeting on Sunday morning, I took the short ride back.

Got back to the hotel and went to the bathroom where an almost unbearable, incessant noise, sounding like the huge pumps on the inside of the Hoover Dam, was taking place. The sound was undetectable in the bedroom thank God, but I knew my trips to the bathroom would certainly be quieter and more pleasant if I had some earplugs.

Coming back to the bedroom, I looked for the remote control but that was all in vain. I turned the television on manually, and made a call to the front desk. I was informed that the remote control for the room could be obtained by going downstairs to the desk and leaving a five dollar refundable deposit. When I arrived I had paid no attention to the environment outside the room, but having spent a number of years in the street life, I readily recognized the pimps, prostitutes, and drug dealers as I approached the office.  Needless to say, I was now fully aware that I was staying in a transient motel,  and that my expectations should not exceed this realization.

Undaunted I rented the remote control, went back in the room and found that the remote control didn't work.  There was nothing of my liking on TV anyway, so I took a chance and turned on the laptop. No signal as I had expected, and upon calling the desk about free wi-fi, I was warned that it didn't work all the time but I could click on the site 'Motel 8 downtown’ icon, put in the 12 digit passcode, and see what happens. I apprehensively did as I was told, was surprised when my site came up, yet understanding when it disappeared about forty seconds later. "Right now",  I said..."I'm going to bed." and in spite of the loud noise from the Mexican Independence Day celebration across the street, I was able to sleep.

Upon picking me up the next morning, John informed me that the area about three blocks down was improving but that more murders were committed there than in any area in Las Vegas. Right now though, I was all right cause I was still here. That's my point ya'll, no matter where you are, no matter what you're doing, if you feel ok you are ok, and what you don't know can't hurt you. What you do know should be considered however. I was vividly reminded that drugs and street life ain't for me. I realized that I needed to communicate more and ask somebody who knows to suggest hotel accommodations. Most of all, I accepted the fact that it’s best for me to stay in the ‘right now’  and enjoy the view, no matter what time or in what place that might be. 

I'l holla...

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TWEAK YOUR TUDE

That's right...from time to time we should check and see what's going on with our attitude toward life and the people in it. 'You better check yourself before you wreck yourself' is the adage I'm familiar with, and I'm sure all of you have been told from time to time, whether verbally or just by the expression on somebody's face, "I don't like your attitude.' Don't get me wrong though, cause the same applies on the other side as well. Most , if not all of us, have been told..."I like your attitude... Man, I wish I was cool like that..., or that confident..., or that cocky." Well it's okay to be checked by others, but it's better to check ourselves first so that we can better respond to those others that are checking us.

We got to go inside ya'll, we got to go in deep and find out what we're working with before we get worked up or worked over. It's simple, but it's not easy living in this world of ours. All it takes is treating others like we want to be treated, that's the simple part. The hard part is not treating people the way they treat us. Every other day we run into somebody, or hear about somebody that doesn't seem to like or respect who we are or what we stand for, and it takes a lot to not respond in a negative way to what they're bringing to the table. The real dilemma doesn't start with them and what they have to say however, it starts with how we respond. We need to reset our spiritual agenda, so that our physical and emotional inclinations don't control how we interact with others.

Ohh it's been many a night that I've been upset to the point that I'm walking down the street of a rough area in the city, and asking myself 'What if somebody tries to do something to you." You know the response..."OOH I ain't had a fight in thirty years... I wish a n---- would." It ain't good to have that kind of attitude ya'll, cause in this day and age people are looking for somebody to take off, and they don't give a damn about your attitude.

Attitude is revealing and contagious. It sets the stage for how we treat others and how they treat us. Unless we know who we are and what our purpose is, the field for foolishness is wide open and we might go anywhere  cause we have no direction. I think these words from the 'Desiderata' pretty much sum up what a desired attitude looks like...

"...be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

That's right, go in and see if that's how you feel inside. Stop everything for a minute and reassess if you're spiritually where you want to be. If not open yourself up for the change that needs to take place, and then be about letting it happen. You know we work too hard at trying to be this and trying to be that. We strive too much to look like what we think the standard of beauty is. We spend way too much time trying to live up to what we think somebody else's expectations of us are. Come in from the outside and go in where the real you resides.

It's way cool to look good, feel good, and our personal happiness is of utmost importance.. The fact of the matter is that we can do, we can have, and we can be all of that if we use our attitude as our guide and our follow up as our sustainer. Whatever we want will unfold... We just need to do our part and be patient with the outcome.

I am happy with myself, and when you see me, you can be what you see. Just tell yourself that every day, make up your mind to live from that perspective each and every moment of your life, and don't allow anybody to steal your joy no matter what page they may be on. Stay in your book...'The Road to Happiness', and understand that every chapter and every page in that book is contingent on your attitude towards the "Book of Life'.

People gon be who they are and the only way to contend and get along with them is to be you...the real you that dwells inside. You may not be where you want to be, so be happy with where you are and know that it always gonna get greater later. Let that be your attitude and vow that you're gonna be sticking to it.

I'll holla...

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CHICAGO VIBES

I'm here in Chicago and just totally excited about the vibes I'm experiencing. Albeit some of them are not as titillating as I'd like them to be, my hometown of Chicago is still an accurate barometer of what's going on around the world, and I'm just happy to be here and to be able to check things out.

I do not watch the news in California but while here in Chicago I viewed a news broadcast Sunday night and and learned that there was:

• a number 6.o earthquake in Napa, California 
• two police related shootings of one black man and black woman and another individual black man in two different Chicago neighborhoods and...
• a severe thunderstorm watch for the Chicago area on the next day Monday.                                  

All three news items produced negative vibes which gave me an opportunity to find the common denominator for the barometric pressure felt here in Chicago, and the rest of the known world...that common denominator being fear. This finding was confirmed for me as I drove down the Dan Ryan expressway about 1 pm the next day, and saw about 30 vehicles parked under the viaducts between 95th and 87th street. Might not mean anything to you, but here in Chicago we call that expressway 'The Damn Ryan' because of its high potential for accidents, yet nobody ever pulls over unless there's something wrong with the car or the police tell us to. In all my 65 years I have never seen that many people pull over and I know that a part of it was out of fear of the thunder and lightening that was occurring

Don't get me wrong. The fear I recognized was an understandable fear, as was the fearful anticipation and consequence of the earthquake in Napa, as well as the apprehensive potential for a citizen retaliation to the two shootings by Chicago police officers. My contention is that we're living under the auspices of a media induced fear, initiated and perpetrated by the so called 'powers that be', and that the vibes created as a result only serve to keep us worried, unhappy, and wondering what's going to happen next? 

On the other hand there were the positive vibes I got from hearing again that although Chicago's own Jackie Robinson West Little Leaguers baseball team had not won the International World series, they were still the World Series champions of the United States. You see I got a chance to see their last game, and I got a chance to be on the Damn Ryan' where thousands of motorists were on their way downtown to stand in the middle of State Street and watch those young black males demonstrate that they are not a lost cause, and although they might not win every game, they refuse to be defeated. I got a chance to see their black parents, along with white, black, yellow and brown supporters say... "Later for demonstrations and uprisings and terrorism and starvation and disease and killings and all that other stuff going on. We got HOPE right now and it's going to sustain us until." 

Needless to say, the positive vibes are what I'm on now and they're going to sustain me until...that until being immeasurable because I know that things are always going to work out when they're supposed to, and that all our fears are unfounded simply because they're  only comprised of False Evidence Appearing Real. Don't be fooled by the media, or by anybody or anything else ya'll. Whatever negativity is going on...it too will pass because HOPE...which I've anagrammed as Hallowed Opportunities Provided Everyday... is inevitable and ever present. I don't know about you, but I'm living in the now yet still excited about our future. Thanks Chicago for still being my kind of town, and thanks to you for allowing me to share these vibes.

I'll Holla...

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