God is Good... Some Of The Time?

Ain't it something how aware we are of the Goodness of God when all is going our way? Then when we experience a setback or become uncomfortable in a situation we forget that God is still present. Whenever we feel that we're all that and a bag of chips, and a Pepsi, and a Kool Filter King, and are totally conscious of God’s Presence in our lives, we have no problem expressing this Holy Alliance. But let one thing upset us and we immediately allow our E.G.O. (Easing God Out) to take center stage and forget that we choose whether or not we want to stay connected to the ONE that is in each and every one of us. If we ever feel used, abused, and abandoned it’s because we choose to, cause God gon always do what God Do.

I'm a true believer in things happening when they're supposed to, and that it's not about what people say or don’t say in our everyday situations. It’s not about what people do or don’t do either. Instead, It’s all about how we respond to the components (people, places, and things) of the particular circumstance. If God is Present in every situation, and if God is GOOD, then every situation God allows us to be in is good. Why don’t we take our focus off of what's being done and look more closely at what God is saying to us through the experience. We’ve all been through times when somebody said something we didn’t appreciate, or times when even our children or spouses didn't heed what we knew to be in their best interest. Well how about taking our focus off them and taking a deeper look at ourselves. How about reassessing our own motives, determining what God’s Purpose is for us being in a particular situation, and then making a conscious effort to accept God’s Will even if it doesn’t coincide with our own.

My niece Tanya had a surprise birthday party in Chicago, this past Saturday, that was off the chain. I went there with the express intent of being loving and supportive, but left with a lot more than I came with. During the party my neice Crystal approached me, gave me an extremely warm hug and said “Uncle Calvin I just love your Blog”. Her mother Dina embellished that statement by reassuring me that Crystal not only reads the postings, but reiterates the content of what she has read. A little later on my niece Keisha commented that she reads the blog as well and stated, in an apologetic manner mind you, that she doesn’t take the time to respond. Then neice Dee Dee (the comedienne) let's me know that she reads them as well and if I put a like button at the bottom she'll gladly click on it, but please don’t expect a response from her either. In addition to all of that, as he's leaving the party, my brother-in-law John says he's patiently waiting for the book to come out. Now albeit my head got a bit swoll, I could not help but recognize the Goodness of God.  

In retrospect I recall my April 17, 2012 blog, Seeing Me In You, where I mentioned that I had been displeased with the lack of comments being received. My intent is to uplift and give the Word to others, so why wasn't I receiving notification that my job was being done. Well the truth is that I wasn't ready to receive it. I needed a few more humbling experiences to let me know who calls the shots, and in Whose time things take place. I still appreciate the responses to that particular blog, but in spite of their validity I still wasn't feeling the total Presence of God. Tanya’s party allowed me an opportunity to reflect and truly come to terms with the fact that God is always on time, and not only present in the good times when we’re skinning and grinning, but also when the times ain't so good like when we’re not getting what we want when we want it.

I'll be so glad when all of us get to experience heaven on earth on a regular basis. That place where peace can be found in every situation, and we can sense and appreciate the Presence of God even if things are not going the way we would like them to. God is Good. All the time, and whatever happens to us is a blessing or a lesson. Let's prepare ourselves to receive and be grateful for God’s Good, no matter in what form it may appear. Cause the party will come and, when it does, we'll be the ones celebrating the hardest.

Had a ball Tee Tee and the rest of ya’ll. Thanks to God and all of you for being there.

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Baby Mamas, Delinquent Dads and Bad Ass Kids

Since I stopped getting high in 1986, I've had the privilege of seeing my mother every Mother's Day until the one celebrated this past Sunday. I am so proud and appreciative of my nephew Brandon, on the other hand, who took advantage of that day to take his wife, mother, and grandmother (my mother) to dinner at the same time. My wife Nicole, on the other hand, hasn't seen her mother since her transition in 1983, and it was comforting for both of us to be able to share a phone call with Mama Gantt in celebration of this special day. It was also very uplifting to participate in the love and appreciation that abounded when daughter Aaya presented that beautiful floral bouquet to her mama Nicole. Spending time outside afterwards, and witnessing all the mothers, young and old, proudly strutting their motherhood in big hats matching bags and shoes, did nothing less than bring unheralded joy to the beholders.

These thoughts bring me to another pre-apportioned day in June, namely Father's Day, when we specifically notice how many dads are with their children on this day in particular. We also pause at some time during that day, to consider the babies who don't get an opportunity to see their father at that time, and somehow sense that their pain is intensified in comparison to the hurt experienced during all the other days of the year. Nonetheless it does our hearts good to see the love expressed by a father for his child, and prompts us to remember and cherish the knowledge that family is the most important entity on the planet.

I love that mother and father's day are celebrated, and am sure that most of us wouldn't mind if they set a couple of Mondays aside to commemorate those 2 days. What I'm suggesting however, is that we give at least half as much attention to the positive aspects of family, on the other 363 days. When family values are discussed, let's minimize our conversations about Baby Mama Drama, Delinquent Dad Dilemma, and these Bad Ass Kids. Of course there are some mothers who focus too much on the father not being present and not enough on themselves and the child. More importantly however, these same mothers cannot help but ask themselves, on a regular basis, why their child is limited to a one parent household and what it is they can do to make things better. Let's honor all mothers by assuring them that we know they're doing the best they can with what they have to work with, and comforting them with the resolve that things will get better. There are fathers who are either claiming that the child is not theirs, or concentrating on other outlets that give them temporary relief from the anguish of their irresponsibility. We must acknowledge nonetheless, that no matter how hard they try to suppress it, the question inevitably  arises in each of their minds, on a regular basis, "Am I all the man that I'm capable of being?'  Let's remember  that "to err is human, to forgive divine" and work from that perspective when talking to the so called delinquent dad. That frame of consciousness, in and of itself, will cause him to take a different look at himself, and to reassess his role in the greater scheme of things. Those bad ass kids? They are just curious as to why we're always sweating them to accomplish more. From their perspective we, when younger, evidently didn't concentrate much on making the world a better place. because if we had, it wouldn't be in the condition it's in now. Let's face it, we either knew or were one of those bad ass kids, back in the day, so let's reminisce when talking to our children, and see what in addition to patience and understanding might have changed the course of our lives for the better, and incorporate those same ideas and thoughts into our conversation.

Hey ya'll, let's start loving and appreciating each other more by realizing that family is not just blood-related but universal. Family Day is every day so there's cause for communicative celebration on a daily basis. Let's stop looking at how it could or should be better, and start considering what we're going to do to make it better. Let's remember that all it takes is a shift in consciousness. Once we see things differently, they become different. Let's look at assets rather than liabilities and recognize that every member has something to contribute. Let's look for that attribute in each one with whom we come in contact, help them to recognize that attribute, and prompt and support them in their attempts to make it manifest  in their every day experience. We can then transcend the limitation of a one day celebration, and enter the realm of every day being a celebration because of our individual and concerted efforts to make it that way.

I'm reminded of some lyrics attributed to Robert Lamm and recorded in 1972 by the band 'Chicago'. It refers to another holiday, but aptly illustrates the message I wish to convey.

"Another day in the park, 

You'd think it was the Fourth of July.

  People dancing, really smiling, 

  A man playing guitar, Singing for us all.

  Will you help him change the world?

Can you dig it (yes I can)

And I've been waiting such a long time...

  Funny days in the park

 Every day's the fourth of July." 

Ya feel Me? Then let's designate each and every day as an opportunity to honor and celebrate one another, while unleashing universal joy in the process.




Feel free to respond by clicking the comments link or emailing me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com

Feeling What's Real

There's an old adage that goes "Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear". I'm certain that most of us are in agreement with this applicable truth because every day we're exposed to media outlets that are so caught up in making money, that the advertisers' or stock holders' truth, whether it's veritable or not, is what we see. Our corporations, dedicated to marketing consumer goods, are totally focused on making the unreal seem real and convincing us that the lie we're hearing is actually the truth. What we're seeing the world over is gloom and doom, and what we're hearing is that the more you buy from me, the better you'll be able to experience joy in spite of what's going on around you. Life itself, as we know it is becoming harder and harder to believe.

Something that I've not had the pleasure of hearing lately is "You feel me"? The intent inherent in this particular query is not to convince the hearer to unconditionally believe what's being said, but rather to be assured that what's being heard is being heard from the perspective of the person doing the talking. I'm in total alignment with this concept and believe that if we focus more on 'feeling' what's being seen or heard, we'll become more discreet in what we choose to believe.

Had an opportunity to experience the Bob Marley documentary this past Saturday, and up to that point I had only seen him in the media, and only heard of his struggle to bring Jamaican Reggae into the mainstream of the music world. Until I was able to actually feel his presence through the film, I had little idea of who he really was because my knowledge was limited to and contingent on how others depicted him. This is not an attempt to say that these depictions were faulty, but to convey the importance of striving to become one with those whose lives we have an opportunity to share.

During the film I was totally impressed with Bob Marley's level of integrity, and how he refused to compromise his ideals to make a deal. It was also amazing how he, at the same time, made concessions to insure that the intent to expose the conceptual components of Reggae and Rasta to the rest of the world was not cut short. All this was done with or without the support of fellow band members and friends, and intermittently at the risk of life and limb. I automatically felt a connection because of my personal endeavor to embody these same principles. On the other hand I, at first, was not feeling what I deemed as his lack of interaction and commitment to the purported eleven children he had with seven different women. I had to subsequently accept the fact that I too have been simultaneously involved in intimate relationships during my life, and that the children involved, although not blood-related, undoubtedly experienced a degree of discomfort in their lives as a result of my presence or lack thereof. After realizing that I am not fit nor qualified to judge anyone, I was able to connect once more and willing to accept that although I might not condone what others do, I should always try and understand why it's being done.

Part of the lyrics in Lil Wayne's rendition of the Nina Simone song 'Misunderstood' goes: "They'd rather speculate before they informate". It speaks volumes for our judging and condemning someone, based on what we've seen and heard, before we know who they really are. All of us fall short in our endeavors, and seeing and listening to someone else's hearsay is of no real value because it may be based on their own shortcomings. In  our every day experiences we're going to encounter people and things we've seen and heard about, and people and things we have no knowledge of as well. I'm suggesting that from this point on we try and feel who and what we're in the presence of. Even if someone is pissing us off, let's feel that person, accept them for who they are, and understand, not necessarily what we're seeing or hearing, but what it is that God intends for us to gain from the experience.

In life we're going to experience things we either like, dislike or are oblivious to. Let's not be oblivious to anything because if it affects one it affects us all. If we like it that's cool because we have encountered and felt a connection to something that exists in us. If we don't like it, let's not judge or condemn, let's feel what's really going on. Let's take a look within and see if there's something inside of us that needs to be checked. Let's try and figure out what we need to do to make things better for ourselves and for all involved.  Whatever the case, let's diminish the importance of what we see and hear, let's focus less on what could and should be, and let's devote ourselves to recognizing and participating in what truly is.
Ya feel me...?




Feel free to post a comment or e-mail me at grace.calvin187@gnail.com

Does It Make You Wanna Holla

Positive communication is certainly the lick, and I believe that we should try and holla at somebody at least once a day. This conviction was renewed when my mother told me last Tuesday that she was committed to complimenting somebody each and every day. She said that she might say something as simple as "I like your shoes ", and not only would it put a smile on the face of the one spoken to, but it made her feel good about herself. No matter how miniscule just speaking to another human being may seem, it will inevitably and undoubtedly release positive vibrations into the universe. Just watch one showing of CNN (Continuous Negative News), and you'll be convinced that we are definitely in need of some positive vibes.

I was thinking about how everyone has developed some degree of communication skills and, regardless of the source, these skills can be employed to benefit others. I have experienced many years of formal education and commend those of you who attended school with the intent of really learning something. As for me, after about the sixth grade, I went with the express intent of doing as little as possible while reaping 100 times more than I put in. I learned how to repeat what had been said to me, in the same manner in which it had been said, in the hopes of making more money than other folk by simply running my mouth. I can't say enough about folk like George Washington Carver who, on the other hand, sought to communicate what they had learned in order to positively influence the lives of others.

Despite the fact that our society lauds those with degrees, there are volumes to be said for those who have established and maintained a volume of communication skills predicated primarily on the determination to survive and prosper. My drug use, during random education hiatuses, required that I develop an effective set of these coping skills so that I could be somewhat successful in my endeavors to stay on top of the game without getting caught. I earnestly applaud those who feel they have no other choice but to live in this arena, and send major kudos to folk like Malik El Haji Shabazz who are able to employ the same type of skills to educate and enhance the lives of others.

The one thing lacking in the acquisition of communicative skills, was that I had no desire to unconditionally share them with another. Until I went back to school, with the intent of helping others, did i understand that we all have something valuable to say and that our circumstances are the only thing that might dictate how its said. The positive vibrations that emanate from both a compassionate conversation and a heartfelt hello have far-reaching beneficial effects, the magnitude of which cannot be measured. What I'm suggesting is that we employ our communication skills, no matter how we acquired them, to uplift one another, knowing that the entire universe will benefit as a result of our contribution to it.

Thank you Mom for the pull-up, and thanks to all of you who are committed to graciously holla at somebody at sometime.