Where Have All The Children Gone

I’d like to thank my eldest nephew for teaching me how not to change diapers, by peeing right in my face when I first attempted to change his. I’d also like to thank my niece for instructing me on the importance of being patient with a child’s development. I was highly eager for her to start conversing with me, but once she got started I often wished that she would stop talking and go somewhere and sit down. I convey appreciation to my sister in law for allowing me an opportunity to take her children to Brookfield Zoo and her grandchildren to the beach, because I too was able to experience the utter joy demonstrated by children who ‘discover’ something for the very first time.

I’d like to express my gratitude to the elementary school students at St. Marks’ church who exemplified such an innate desire to learn and a heartfelt appreciation to us tutors who took time out to assist them in their endeavors. A shout out to the Teen Identity youth at New Life Covenant church who proved to me that spiritual food must be given with care and not forced upon those young ones who are unconsciously seeking balance between the teachings of the church and the calling of the streets. And countless kudos to the elementary and high school students  at the Lighthouse Youth Center who unabashedly showed me that society’s looking down on their economic and social strata would not deter them from achievement as long as somebody, who cared, challenged and pushed them to succeed.

I’m of the mindset however, that for some time now, there have been no children just very youthful looking people. Our being ‘friends’ with our own children for fear of them not liking us, and fearful of other folks’ children cause they look and act like thugs and thugettes, has inadvertently coerced all of our children into feeling that they must take matters into their own hands. We are basically depriving them of their childhood and pushing them to be what we and they deem as being more responsible, when in reality they’re  only looking and acting grown but are still not being accountable for their behavior. We are dressing our 2 and 3 year olds like the 12 and 13 year olds, who’ve become a bit repugnant to us, and then we wonder what’s wrong with our youth. We complain about how our sons and daughters are raising our grandchildren, yet we say nothing to them cause we don’t want to get in their ‘business’.

Caring for a child of any age is a challenging yet rewarding experience. Of utmost importance is that we, as caretakers, recognize and understand the ramifications inherent in our interactions. My contention is that we take on the role of parent/facilitator, rather than provider/friend, and provide an environment that allows our children’s voices to be heard because we can gain so much by intently listening to what they have to say. I contend that It is in the best interest of all that we disseminate and discuss information from all sides rather than insisting that one is right and the other wrong. At the same time, we must let it be known, that we will be fair in our decisions but, because of our God Given authority, we will have the final say. This approach will work because, believe it or not, from birth to adulthood and beyond, our young ones are subconsciously seeking discipline and guidance from those of us who they deem capable of administering it. 

Our children are still here ya’ll, just hidden by a consciousness that tells them to act all grown like they know what they’re doing, and when they get exposed for not knowing, to act like  babies insisting that nobody understands them and nobody cares. We can learn a lot from our children, but first we must help them to find and stay in their zone, and the only way we can do that is by finding and staying in our own.

I’ll holla


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