HOW TO GET ATTENTION

There are two beings in my life that I've learned more from than I ever expected. These two are my dog Coco Bella and granddaughter Leia Nicole. The reason is because the love they have for me is unconditional, and they're completely honest and unflinching in their attempts to communicate.  One of the most valuable lessons that I've learned from the both of them is the length sentient beings are willing to go to get attention.

Coco is 5 years of age and will whine, moof (a weird sound that I've only heard her make), pick up a toy and run crazily back and forth, pick up her dish and drop it at your feet, and playfully jump on whoever comes near her. Leia, on the other hand, is 10 months old and cries, hollers like no other, claps her hands, dances while sitting down, hits the table or whatever is in reaching distance that she can elicit a sound from, and if provoked will hit you or even herself. Now mind you, both are two of the most wonderful creatures you'd want to be around, but be ever aware that they'll do whatever necessary to both make you aware and periodically remind you of their presence.

What I've learned from them is that the desire for attention starts early on. What has been confirmed for me, through their uninhibited methods of garnering attention, is that most of us still seek it and have developed seemingly inadvertent ways for doing so. We call ourselves humble, low-key, and say things like, "I'm satisfied with just being me". But let someone not speak to us, or not congratulate us on what we deem an achievement, or not say "thank you" or "I'm sorry", and we're in a total uproar. Mind you, most of us are not going to hit, run, holler at, or jump on that someone, but believe you me, probably the next person we talk to is going to hear about the nerve of that '#*&@%!?' for not acknowledging us.

Is there something wrong with desiring attention? Of course not. We are sentient beings who have feelings and want others to acknowledge, appreciate, and share in our sensitivities. However, the way we go about it may benefit from a little tweaking. Now we don't have to be brutally honest like Leia and Coco, although being honest with others can prove beneficial in some situations, but we should not expect others to devote themselves entirely to what it is we seek, because let's face it...they're focused on seeking that same thing from us...attention.

Well.. "What now"? you might ask. My contention is that we diminish our efforts to seek attention, and expend more energy on giving it. You see,  what I've also learned from Coco and Leia is that they are truly appreciative of a physical or verbal caress, and display instant gratification when their desire for attention is met. However, I must be careful to administer it in moderation because we don't want to be responsible for either of them becoming addicted to it. The same applies to those we seek attention from. Give them some attention. Because they're a little older than my two compatriots we automatically assume that they see things the way we do, but that is not always the case. Sometimes, like us, they just want some sympathy, empathy, or just a little bit of rhythm from another so that their own self worth and well-being can be substantiated. It's not going to be easy cause it's pretty difficult to tolerate a 'big ole baby', but I've been one a few times and I truly appreciated anybody who demonstrated grace and mercy to me during one of those attention craving spells. Believe you me, I was more than gratified, I was totally satisfied and I know that the positive energy I had received was passed right back to the one who gave it to me.

Let's give it a shot. Let's try giving rather than receiving and then determine, after a few attempts at doing so, if the warmth and sense of transformation we derive from being attentive to the needs and desires of another, isn't just as good or better than the attention we so consciously or inadvertently seek.

I'll holla.


To comment or respond please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com