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Isn't it amazing that right now, at this very moment, we're all that we can be, we have everything we need, yet we still manage to feel that somehow we've fallen short or been shortchanged. The ongoing question that relentlessly plaques us is "Why is everybody else getting theirs and I can't get mine? Well the solution, albeit hard to accept, is simple "What and how much are you doing to get what you think you're supposed to have."

What I'm on right now is looking at the progress that's taken place since I was diagnosed with cancer in January of 2014, and why it doesn't seem to correlate with where I feel I should be. Comparing myself with others who have shared this experience doesn't work for me, cause people can look like they're doing better, they can act like they're feeling worse, but in the final analysis 'God only knows' because each day brings moments of exhilaration and depression, feelings of joy and pain, and all of that before we even get a chance to eat breakfast. As we experience these every day situations we either tackle them with careful consideration or with reckless abandon; but in the end we're still asking ourselves, "Have things really gotten better?"

I'm sitting here this afternoon, stressing because my latest blood work shows that my white blood cell count and platelet levels are low, my glucose and ALT /AST liver components are high, and I'm wondering how in the world I'd gained almost forty pounds when twenty-five was my goal. Then I experience an epiphany.  "Calvin, I asked myself, what role are you playing in all of this. After all, you're  the one that was diagnosed with cancer, have you personally gathered enough information to accurately ascertain how you got it in the first place, and have you questioned what you can do to prevent it from reoccurring. There's tons of information on the internet that address each and every situation we find ourselves in, and rather than stress yourself my brother, why not stretch yourself by accessing and examining what is readily available to you.

I, like most of us, want all I can get and I want it right now. Not only that, I feel I'm supposed to have it because I've done what it takes to deserve it. Wrong assessment ya'll. Sad as it might seem, life on this planet is played like a  game of Monopoly and the ones in the shot calling roles are those who have hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place. Not only that, in this game of life, the shot callers can change the rules whenever they feel a need or have a desire to do so. So you wind up getting only what others feel you're supposed to have. Now there's a way to offset this condition, and that is to do more than you've being expected to do, and then allow the universe, undergirded by the Grace Of God,  to respond accordingly. Then, although you'll only get it when you're ready to receive it, you'll get everything you got coming and then some.

So I got a message for you doctors. Continue setting up my appointments, continue testing my blood, continue trying to convince me to take those new drugs, and to eat this and not eat that. What I'm gon be doing in the meantime, is acquiring all the knowledge I can about me and my condition, and then sharing  and discussing my thoughts and theories with like minded others. In the process I can develop and maintain a positive attitude and renewed sense of satisfaction and contentment, with who I am, where I am, and what it is that I'm doing to make my life better.

It takes time to really accept that the only entitlement we have is an opportunity to be here. What we have to gain from that participatory existence however, is an awareness of the unlimited possibilities available to us, that are only contingent on how willing we are, to do everything we can, to make them become manifest not only in our own lives, but in the lives of those around us. We all got what it takes to get what we got coming ya'll,  let's go for it.

I'll holla...

To comment or respond please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com