This experience with cancer is by far the most horrific encounter I've ever gone through in my entire life. Be that as it may, I've realized that it's only by the Grace of God that I'm able to view it as both a life altering lesson and a bountiful blessing.
After the biopsy and diagnosis in January, and having received the results of the first PET scan in early February, I could neither understand nor accept the finding that I had cancerous cells in my brain, 90% of my bone marrow, lymph nodes, lungs, liver, gastrointestinal tract, both kidneys, urinary bladder, and various other organs, bones and muscles throughout the body. Were it not for the love and support of my family, the prayers of people, some of whom I didn't even know, and ultimately the Mercy and Grace of God I know that I could not have withstood the onslaught of fear, anticipation of death, disgust, anger, guilt, and other negative responses that accompanied this overwhelming disclosure of my health condition.
Now you already know that the first question I asked God was "Why", and I was somewhat surprised by the answer I received which was... "Because I Can and I Do Allow things like this to happen". The answer to my second question was also unexpected. "Why me" I asked and the answer was..."Because I love you and I Know that you can deal with whatever I Allow to Happen to you". However, the answer to the third question, "What am I supposed to do now", put everything in perspective. That answer was..."I Want you to share your experience with others." With that in mind, allow me to share the gist of this experience with you.
After the initial pet scan of February 5th, with cancer cells present throughout my entire body, the second pet scan on March 17th showed cancer present only in the left chest wall. Then, about two weeks ago on May 5th, the third pet scan showed no cancer...nowhere. WHAT....ARE YOU SERIOUS...PRAISE GOD was the only response I could muster.
I still antagonize over what now and where do I go from here, but of one thing I'm sure...I have a purpose in life...I have a reason for being here. That reason and purpose being the same as it is for all of you and everybody and everything else that exists in this universe...to share the benefits of our experiences with others.
The lesson I'm learning from this encounter with cancer is that at times I become rather lax and complacent in different areas of my life, and try and convince myself that I got it going on and that all is well. But I know in my heart of hearts that I can do better. This happens for all of us and it reaches a point where our Creator allows a wake up call to become manifest. For me, this last one seems a bit exaggerated, but then who am I to judge what and how much it takes to move me to the next level. As for the blessing(s), even though I'm still experiencing a lack of energy and other uncomfortable symptoms, I know it's due to the chemo and am so overjoyed that there's only one more treatment to go. The blood work results and my own body consciousness show that I'm physically healthier than I've been in 30 years. I have a brand new zest for life that surpasses any I've ever experienced, and now Thank God, I know me...I'm finally aware of who I truly am.
I love all of ya'll. I love what is happening in my life and I love being given the opportunity to share it with you. What I'm learning from all of this is that no matter what seemingly horrific thing might occur in our lives, we should take time out to listen to what's called that still small voice. Then we can tie a knot in the end of the proverbial rope and hold on, knowing that it's gonna get greater later.
To comment or respond click on the word comments at the bottom of the page or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com.
Spirit flowing, giving all the honor and the glory and the priase to the one and only true and living God....we, who profess to be servants of God, say "use me Lord" but we have no idea that when we open that door and extend our arms heavenward that use you is what God will do. And 9 times out of 10 it won't be in the way that we want Him to... He used you Calvin..and at the onset even tho we all knew what God was doing, we had to step out of our flesh and into the spirit realm before we could really embrace that He CHOSE YOU. How awesome is that? In spite of, He is using you to be a blessing and a deliverance to somebody who is right now, at this very moment, getting ready to walk thorugh those doors that you just passed through. Proud of you bro for your tenacious spirit and your refusal to doubt that God was going to carry you through on wings of Angels to the other side. You are an example for a lot of people who don't understand that you cannot testify to the amazing works of God without first going through the tests. No matter how horrific they might seem, Jehovan Rophe will always have the final say. No matter what the reports say:-) Use your radio show and your voice to continue to encourage.
ReplyDeleteYour awesome sista,
Dell
Hey Sista Dear,
DeleteI want to thank you for the warm, inspiring words and your desire to share them with the universe. Know that I love you and that, like Pastor Hannah, I'm real excited about our future.
Bless you, Calvin. The thoughts you express are more than inspired; they're spiritually uplifting.
ReplyDeleteBless you as well and be ever aware that your comment encourages and motivates me to keep it movin...
DeleteBE WELL
Calvin,
ReplyDeleteHello, and God Bless you. In essence, I said that I too, had a diagnosis of Lymphoma in January. It was in my Skull, an unusual place to be found. I too, have received 5 chemo treatments and have received a clear PET SCAN! My last treatment is scheduled for June 2nd 2014.
I have shared similar experiences as you, and have grown in so many ways. I look forward to meeting the new person who evolves from my healing journey. So many blessings have come through to me from my friends, family, clergy, and from all of the phone calls, cards, visits, flowers, words of encouragement, and inspirational readings , food , and prayers, etc, that have been offered up on my behalf. Jean Ann has been A VERY VERY IMPORTANT PART OF MY HEALING JOURNEY. She is such a blessing to so many of us.
Thanks for sharing , and live your good life!
Thank you so much for sharing Margaret and to show you the universality of relationships, and how there are less than six degrees of separation, my last treatment is scheduled for June 2, 2014...
DeleteBE WELL
BE BLESSED