‘Altruistic individualism’ is the phrase from which I shall contextualize this essay, and what it implies is ‘unselfishly interacting with another by being yourself’. Brilliant concept as far as I’m concerned, but applying it to our everyday lives is another story. Individualism is a reality that permeates both our conscious and subconscious thoughts, and the phrase, ‘It’s all about me’, fittingly describes how we usually lead our lives.
In this world that we are all a part of, a competitive way of thinking is promoted and sustained from nursery school to the time we leave this plane of existence. Success is viewed as the ongoing accumulation of wealth, and our every waking moment is spent on proving how right or better we are than somebody else, and we pay little or no attention to how our actions might affect another. Our focus, for the most part, is on what we call ‘makin money’ or ‘gettin paid’, and this self-centered mindset diminishes our concern for the well being of others.
Let me borrow a portion of the Gestalt Prayer, attributed to the psychotherapist Fritz Perls, to indicate how we might consider viewing our relationships with others.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I,
and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
My contention is that, at birth, each of us was divinely endowed with the gift of a unique selfhood. By simply living life we will attain certain strengths, weaknesses, thoughts and aspirations that are common only to us. Each day we spend here is not for adhering to the thoughts and opinions of others, but for the realization of who we are, and how we can use our gift, that is hopefully expanding every day, to achieve the objectives for which we were created.
When we are trying to be our true selves, our paths will inevitably cross with the one(s) who are on the same page at the same time that we are. By coming together as one, we can create the beauty that is inherently present in our diverse yet collaborative mindset(s).
We don’t have to strive and struggle to get together with others in order to make positive changes in this universe of ours. We just need to stay focused on the space we’re in, while constantly attempting to appreciate, honor and sanctify that space. It is in the process of doing so that our competitive nature will naturally subside, and altruistic individualism will be the result of our doing the best we can with what we have.
I’ll holla…
To comment or respond to this blog please click on the word comments at the bottom of this page, or email me at grace.calvin187@gmail.com
Beautiful, Calvin. I find that there's no trying or attempting involved at all when we are as we are. Thanks also for sharing the Gestalt Prayer; I appreciate the modern application of Gestalt. In relation to the first line of that poem/prayer, I was thinking recently about how it is not my job to live a life that makes others feel comfortable and okay. It is my job to be comfortable in my own skin. And my being as I am may well shake things up a bit for some folks, but so be it. In being as 'I am', I find I then have a greater appreciation for the being known as 'you'. Just yesterday there were three different 'you's' inquiring things of me ... for each, I painted the picture of what may be happening in his/her world so as not to color their requests with the limited palette of my ego. I had to think about what I am teaching now of how I want to be received in the world through my response. And I had to think about what have I been teaching through my past responses. I was able to craft the response that was loving of who 'I am' ... and thus was loving of 'you' in each scenario. More and more, I realize that 'you' are counting on me to be as 'I am.' By the way, have you read any the works of Larry Dossey?
ReplyDeleteThank you Manisha. Please keep being you and keep doing what you do.
DeleteThanks for the heads up, and I'll definitely put Larry Dossey on my book list.
STAY WELL
Calvin this is deep brother. I love what you wrote and I love the Feitz Perls quote,with which I was unfamiliar. There are so many things to unpack that I'll have to read it several times.
DeleteYou wrote that when inevitably cross paths with those who are on the same page as us. I hope this is true. I so often feel that I have or will miss "it" due to past mistakes, not working hard enough or just not being enough. Your essay reminds me of the saying "bloom where you're planted", but goes so much deeper than that. It also reminds us not to compare ourselves to another or live by their expectations, which is both sage advice and very hard to do. It's very good that I read this today as I was being tempted into the internal comparison game.
Right on time as usual brother.
Thanks for sharing your gift with the world.
Thank you Doctor, and Loving You right back...
ReplyDeleteThank you for believing that the things I say are valid Felton, and I recognize and appreciate that you too have a lot to offer as well. And, according to your name, you have already offard so much to this universe we all share. Keep being you and keep doing what you do....
ReplyDelete